Narc Radar is in high gear!

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#1 May 20 - 10PM
Reina
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Narc Radar is in high gear!

I think a year ago, I would have written this off to someone just being a bitch, but now that I have spent about a year in therapy and a year trying to extricate myself from a 4-year relationship with an NP, I recognized full blown (female) narcissism in this incident today with someone who I always knew to be self-centered. Spilled into full blown N-mode today:

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About two weeks ago, I found out a married couple with whom I am friends (I was in the bridal party) split up. I am friends with both on Facebook. The husband and I were on same (co-ed) mixed martial arts team and trained and competed together for several years. My friendship with the couple developed from my original friendship with him.

I’ve never been a huge fan of the wife, but have always been civil and friendly. I threw her a bridal shower, was a shoulder to cry on a few times when they fought before they were married. Friendly but not friends really. And what a bridezilla (shocking right?)

About four days ago, I saw that the wife removed me from her Facebook. A few mutual friends (also friends with husband originally) said she had done the same to them. Fine, I get it. I know how emotional it can be to split up, and she and I weren’t really friends anyways. I didn’t think too much about it.

Today, though, she sent me a message saying “I’m not sure if you knew that Husband and I split up. So I thought you should know I deleted all his friends from my Facebook.”

Now this really annoyed me. I retrospect (read on Dear Readers), that is exactly why she sent the message. I know that by nature Facebook is a narcissist-friendly tool but wife was very much into promoting herself in 10-20 posts a day from the most mundane (It’s hot outside) to self portraits, to updates on her progress in higher education, to her dinner for her perfect, happy family. Fine whatever. She didn't get enough attention from simply deleting me so she sent the follow up message. I fell right into the trap dear readers!!!

This message irked me so I replied (in retrospect, I'm sure making her SO happy): Do I assume from you deleting me that WE were never friends at all? And if so, why are you sending me this message?

Her response: I just thought you should know and I told all his other friends too. I hope you find happiness someday (happy face).

Me: Your response doesn’t make sense, Wife. If we’re not friends you do not need to message me. And I am happy, although I appreciate your thoughts.

Well, from there, the entire conversation just dropped into the gutter:

Wife: I guess you’ll just start posting about me on all your Facebook convos now!

Me: You wish.

Wife: Don’t try to hack my Facebook!

After sending the above message, she then blocked me from her Facebook. Something my ExNP used to do, then BEG me to add him back.

So, I continued the conversation in a text message:

Me: Wife, why do you say all kinds of mean things to me, then block me from your Facebook. You can say whatever you want to me, but you don’t have to listen to my response? Who would want to hack the most boring, self-centered profile on all of Facebook?

Wife: The truth hurts

Me: (thinking huh?)

I was getting really pissed off at her snotty remarks, but finally tried to figured out what the heck was going on. (In retrospect, of course I can’t figure it out, she’s an N). I haven’t seen this person in months. I never talk to her on the phone or Facebook. Never email her; never text her. WHY was she SO mad at me?

Me: Wife, can you please tell me what I did to make you so mad?

Wife: You just don’t like to hear the truth! (and lots of other saracas-isms with little or no actual substance)

Me: Wife, nothing you are saying is answering my question. All these little snotty remarks and sarcastic comments are not even a real conversation? Why are you so mad at me.

Wife: I’ll take the spinter out of my eye when you take the 2x4 out of yours (?????)

Me: Wife, tell me what I did to make you act like this.

Wife: The next time you need someone to talk to, why don’t you call one of your girlfriends. You must have some girlfriend you can call. (She is referencing one phone call I made to her husband about 2 months ago about a mutual friend having a problem.)

Me: If it bothers you that I call him, you can just let me know and I won’t call him any more. I didn’t know it bothered you so much. Why is it so hard to just tell me a normal conversation (“because I am a narc!”)

Wife: Well, I was trying to be nice because I thought you needed a friend.

Me: I did need a friend.

Wife: Hahahaha, oh I bet you really did!

Me: More saracasm?

It went on and on and on in this vein. It 100% reminded me of convos with my ExNP. Circular arguments. Putting me on the defensive. Not answering the actual question at hand. Extremely sarcastic and mean-spirited comments. WOW, so opposite of the perfect person she presents on Facebook.

And of course by saying: “Why don’t you post it on Facebook or Why don’t you call Husband and tell him all this, that’s what you DO!” she is trying to set me up to keeping quiet about her behavior. She is referencing a very candid post I made on Facebook two weeks ago about my ExNP’s treatment of me as his student in the martial arts. He had been telling lies about me, and I set the record straight, publicly.

What makes me sick about these people is that they want to bully you into keeping their nasty behavior a secret. SO fucking phony!

Anyways, finally:

Wife: And you just keep texting!

Me: And so do you you (happy face)

Wife: Hahahahahaha! Have a nice life.

Wack job. By the end of the convo, I knew I had been sucked in by an N. Too bad I realized it after the convo started.

May 21 - 9AM
Used
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REINA

May 21 - 10AM (Reply to #8)
Deidre99
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i agree with used. i see

May 21 - 9AM
Deidre99
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Since you were the husband's

May 21 - 8AM
Hunter
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I don't know these two people

May 21 - 7AM
Sparrow
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That's about an hour of your

May 21 - 9AM (Reply to #4)
Reina
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I agree Sparrow

May 21 - 3AM
no more an echo
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tug of war

May 21 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
Reina
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Drop the rope