Narc on My Vacation???! Oh CRAP!

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Lobo555
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Narc on My Vacation???! Oh CRAP!

Going on vacation tomorrow. Just found out that CharlieSheenWinning's best friend is where I'm going to right now. This is the man who told me all about CharlieSheenWinning's new girlfriend and their fantastic sex life in an effort to hurt me. He was acting as proxy because I'd broken things off, and I guess he wanted to rub in my face that CSW had moved on quickly and completely.

And where Narc Proxy Best Friend goes, CharlieSheenWinning goes. And CSW will most likely be there with the girlfriend, who is now his wife -- he married her 3 weeks after they got together.

Since I broke things off it's been a crazy ride of cd, ptsd, and eventually, healing. This board and all of you have helped tremendously. I stopped posting over the past couple of weeks because I was moving on and feeling great.

BUT it's a small place that I'm going to -- literally an island. Worse than this tiny town for running into people you don't want to see. I'll be with a group of people -- but none of them know about my relationship with CSW. We do the same things every year, so CSW will know where to find me.

Wish me luck -- I'm going to NEED it!

Lobo555
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Update
Okay, so there I am, getting ready to possibly face CharlieSheenWinning and NewWinningWife. If I'm going to be plagued by him at all this vacation it will be this night because he knows exactly where I'll be. I brush some hair out of my face and must have scratched my eye or bumped it or something because suddenly there's a big red blotch. Looks like a blood blister. Yeah, that's right. I'm trying to be cool and confident and gorgeous and there's this HUGE RED BLOTCH ON THE WHITE OF MY EYE! It doesn't hurt and somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain I know I've had a burst blood vessel in my eye before, so I know it's harmless. But it looks HORRIBLE. I call my best friend (thank God for best friends) in a panic and she talks me off the psychological ledge. Meanwhile, people are waiting for me, leaving me phone messages wondering where I am, so I have to suck it up and leave. As I go into where CharlieSheenWinning might be lurking, I realize I'm literally the walking wounded. As the night goes on, the blotch spreads and looks worse. I keep an eye on my eye in the ladies room and an eye on the rest of the place from the safety of a second floor balcony. Miss Frankeneye, looking around for him and hoping I see him before he sees me. Jesus. I am terrified. They play this one song that he and I danced to the year before. I'd forgotten about it and it was such a trigger. I'm shaking and nervous with my bleedy eye and want to leave so bad. To cut the suspense, CharlieSheenWinning and his narc proxy bff never show. Thank God for THAT not-so-small favor. There was a wicked storm that day and more predicted, so a lot of people left the place or didn't go there at all. The good news is he wasn't there -- and more good news is that I was very relieved and happy to NOT see him. I think that's progress. At one point I would have wanted him there just to prove at some level he cared, even if to be mean to me. But I truly was glad to not see him. As for my eye, it's okay. The medical center dr. there said it's nothing to worry about. It'll clear up in a week or so. As for my mental state, it's only been 5 months but I'm still amazed at his ability to rattle me. I was so triggered by the entire trip -- he was with me on this same trip last year. I wanted to cry so bad -- still do -- but can't because of my damn Frankeneye. But now I'm home. I'm going to hole up for a few days and relax for the remainder of my vacation.
enpsychopedia r... (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
This is probably too late but
This is probably too late but can you plan to do something hilarious to make him feel like an idiot if he DARES to bother you? Laughter is the best medicine; narcissist kryptonite! Good luck,Lobo. Let us know how you managed . Hugs ER
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture
Love this idea!
You are so spot on! I'm leaving in 2 hours and my focus now is: I need to laugh and have a good time, no matter what. He's ruined enough for me, I'm not letting him ruin my friggin' vacation to my favorite spot in the world, too. I do know if he approaches, I'm going to look at him like it's no big deal and say, "Oh wow, it's been so long I forgot about you. And how is [insert name of mutual friend here]? I haven't seen him in forever, either." It's actually good, I'm thinking, that no one I'll be with knows the extent of our relationship. This makes me able to pull off the nonchalant act better. When he doesn't get his way -- which would be me feeling awkward, sad, heartbroken at the sight of him -- he retreats. I've been through this before with him, of course. Laughter IS the only solution! Hugs back to you -- and thank you. I have to keep myself up and laughing. It's stormy and will be for a few days, so I'm hoping he and his proxy narc will come back to the mainland. It's miserable to be on a boat in the storms out there. {crossing fingers!}
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture
Lobo,
Okay, I realize you can't cancel; However, this would be the N's dream come true. I would bet money he will be there and he is looking forward to it. This is what they live for. Sorry. If you can, at least don't follow your typical itinerary. This really just seems like a stressed filled "vacation". Good Luck- I think I would get sick at the last minute and not go! xxx, Ruby
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture
Yep -- N's Dream Come True
But I'm not gonna get sick, not gonna let him stop me from doing what I do every year. You're right. They LIVE for this stuff. I'm just going to make sure any mean, weird thing he does backfires in his face like an exploding cigar. This is what I'm going to remember, and it's a fantastic point someone made on here a while ago: THEY need US more than WE need THEM. They need our supply, our validation. I need nothing from him. I feel like Buffy off to slay a couple of vampires. :) [Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference -- I'm a huge Buffy geek. :) )
Susan32
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However, if he NEEDS to be humiliated...
You can fill that need PERFECTLY! I remember how the ex-Psych prof got up&left during the senior skit when it specifically ridiculed him. This was after the final D&D, after he had revealed his girlfriend. My claws were ready to come out. Once I realized how he NEEDED me more than I needed him, I simply took advantage of him in all his "neediness." Once I realized his "needs",I screwed with them. It was fun. He really couldn't understand why my classmates were laughing at him. Don't worry-I told him how the senior skit mocked him and did so gleefully. I think he found it unnerving that I ENJOYED inflicting narcissistic injuries. Not only was I giving BAD supply (he didn't like getting laughed at/humiliated), but I dealt it out sadistically.
Hunter
Hunter's picture
Lobo
Cancel the vacation or go another week. This is not a vacation when you are going to be on pins and needles. Great you'll have wasted a lot of money but it's your health and sanity at risk. Are you sure they are going to be there? Hunter
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture
Can't Cancel
I'll just have to suck it up and deal. I'm going with a bunch of friends -- we do this every year and I don't want to crap out on them. I had a feeling this might happen. Last year CharlieSheenWinning joined me and my friends where I'm going. I haven't seen/talked to him since I broke things off and he married the rich chick. There is one night when we all go dancing at a particular spot, and I really, really think he'll show up there with NewWinningWife. He's that kind of mean, shove it in yer face, triangulation master narc.
Hunter
Hunter's picture
Man, this sucks LoBo!!! Have
Man, this sucks LoBo!!! Have a plan in place, do get yourself upset! Keep us posted! Hunter
Lobo555
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Hopefully I'll come back next
Hopefully I'll come back next week with nothing to report. If I do see him, I plan to steer clear. I'll stick with my friends, but it will be tough. They met him last year, so I'm sure they'll wave him and NewWinningWife over if they see him.
RubyWoo
RubyWoo's picture
I hope everything goes well!
I hope everything goes well! Ignore him completely, as if you had never met him ever before. Try to look as happy as possible with your friends, smile, laugh, look gorgeous and sexy and F*** HIM and his rebound wife!!!