the narc and old sources

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#1 May 4 - 1PM
madashell
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the narc and old sources

This is taken from Dr.Sam Vaknin,Malignant self love........The narcissist seeks out his old sources of narcisstic supply when he has absolutely no other NS sources at his disposal.Narcissists frantically try to recycle their old and wasted sources in such a situation.But the narcissist would not do even that had he not felt that he could still successfully extract a modicum of NS from the old source(even to attack the narc is to recognise his existence and to attend to him!!!)If you are an old source of NS,first,get over the excitement of seeing him again.It may be flattering,perhaps sexually arousing.Try to overcome these feelings.Then,simply ignore him.Don`t bother to respond in anyway to his offer to get together.If he talks to you keep quiet,don`t answer.If he calls you-listen politely and then say good-bye and hang up.Return his gifts unopened.Indifference is what the narc cannnot stand.It indicates a lack of attention and interest that constitutes the kernel of negative NS to be avoided

May 4 - 4PM
mystwoman
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Here! Here! Madashell, you

Here! Here! Madashell, you nailed this. No contact is the way to go. My goal is to turn any NS (narcissistic supply) the narc is looking for into MY form of NS (NO SUPPLY). None. Ignore him completely. Don't speak to him. Don't react to him. Don't look at him. Simply walk away (or hang up on him). NO SUPPLY.

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God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

May 4 - 4PM
Alisa
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This is really good. Thanks

This is really good. Thanks for posting! Very helpful for me right now as my N has started hoovering
May 4 - 2PM
gratefuljen
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He hoovered, with a lame

He hoovered, with a lame text, "I tried to help my brother before he committed suicide!" He was looking for pity, that his main mode of existence. I used to buy it not any more. I know I should not have but I texted back, "No you didn't, you are and have been the most self centered person that I have ever known. I know it, you know it and your brother knew it." Leave me the f.... alone. I think he will think twice before he ever texts me again. At least I hope so.
May 4 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
nancyh
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@gratefuljen - GOOD for you!

@gratefuljen - GOOD for you!

Nan