Myers-Briggs personality types vs the Narc

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#1 Jan 29 - 7AM
Anne_
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Myers-Briggs personality types vs the Narc

hi girls,

I don't know if you know the Myers-Briggs or Jung personality test. It gives you a score on four domains (Introvert/Extravert, Intuitive/Sensitive, Feeling/Thinking, Judging/Perceiving). You can take the test here: , www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp and found the typology for myself very striking. I'm an ENFP (also known as Inspirer, I like this one) meaning that I am extravert (very true, or otherwise I wouldn't be on this board sharing my thoughts with women all across the globe), intuitive (I scored moderately on this one), Feeling (I think we all are empaths here ) and Perceiving (you take things for what they are worth, without judging). I found a site were this typology was linked to an analysis on your relations as an ENFP www.personalitypage.com/ and I found the following: yup, that's me all right! Any of you who recognize themselves in the following?

ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.

Sexually, The ENFP is creative, perfectionistic, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.

The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for compliments. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.

A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.

Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.

Jan 29 - 8AM
really
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INFJ

Took the real MBTI in grad school and just retook this short test. Result was the same - INFJ. I'm fortunate that my 'F' was/is not very strong. I felt like it might be stronger since I was susceptible to the N. I'm relieved. Funny, he told me once, "I don't know how you function in this world." He was a very strong Extrovert and found my introversion and more subtle ways to be peculiar. No understanding of it or how being in highly social situations was so draining. And he didn't care, of course, because that's what he loved, of course. Jerk.
Jan 29 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
Alive
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im the same

INFJ. :)
Jan 29 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
mystwoman
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I'm ISFJ (the protector).

I'm ISFJ (the protector). The description accurately describes me. It's interesting to me that so far, everyone that's listed their personality type here has the "F" feeling part. I guess that goes along with that empathy that we have and the narcs don't. Xnh is ESTF (the promoter), and boy, the description nailed him on the head. I've always thought of xnh as the "ultimate extrovert", and he's also what I call a "fire starter". He LOVES to put out fires (be the hero and have everyone fawn over him about "great" he is for doing it). One of the problems with fires starters like xnh is that if there isn't a fire happening, he will MAKE one so that he can play the hero in his own mind. Xnh just LOVES to stir up trouble and high drama. He lives in a constant state of crisis. For an introvert like myself, this was completely exhausting. After being in a relationship with xnh, I feel like someone that's been dragged behind his car for the entire 16 years I was with him. Between being a narc, and an extroverted self-promoter, xnh provided a really rough ride. lol. ______________________________________________________ God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

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God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Jan 29 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
loveofmylife
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INFJ

the same.
Jan 29 - 8AM
prettypeeved
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I'm not OK, you're not OK

It's a funny coincidence, but just before I started realising that he was a narc, I stumbled on the I'm OK/You're OK matrix: http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/ok_not-ok.htm The best description I had of "I'm not OK/You're not OK" was one I found in the book Mind Gym: Relationships, and it basically gave the analogy of children in a playground, where the I'm not OK/You're not OK was described as a child who would play nicely with other kids one minute, and then push them away the next. Seemed like a pretty good match for the hot/cold behaviour of the narc but like so many other theories I had, it felt like it wasn't the whole picture. I think stuff like this and the personality types are useful for trying to figure out their behaviour.