My theory on why we jump straight in to the honeymoon period
My theory on why we jump straight in to the honeymoon period
Now I know there are some people on here who really took their time and did due diligence/KYC in as far as they could before they got involved (holla at ya, Morty!) but most of us just fell hook, line and sinker (see what I did there?! :) for the love-bombing phase.
My belief is that it resonated with us because deep down we KNOW we are gems of women, queens who DESERVE to be loved and adored and treated like gold, so when these guys come along and immediately start doing that, it's like we've finally met someone who's reflecting back to us all of our sterling qualities, all of our true beliefs about ourselves underneath all the day to day crap we all have to deal with, and is totally recognising those qualities and appreciating them in us.
That's what it felt like for me, anyway. I've been told by other (sane) men that I'm a great GF, and when I met the ex, it was like "Finally! someone who truly gets how great I am!" (beginning to sound like a narc myself now, lol) so for that reason I didn't question the whole honeymoon and love-bombing phase. I simply took it as my (long overdue - like, try ten years overdue) entitlement.
When he was dumping me, I just kept repeating "But I haven't changed! I'm the same girl you were so crazy about just a few months ago!" I literally couldn't comprehend how someone could do such a total 180 in such a short time, especially when I (IMHO!) was still just as great as he kept saying I was in the early days, and in fact in any normal relationship, that should have started to mature into really deep love and attachment 8 months in. But no. My brain was just so totally fried and still is, on some days.
I didn't think I was much of
Amen
Thanks But I Didn't Really Do the Best Due Diligence
And I can't help but think