I worked with him for many years before the nightmare started. I was engaged and had just had my daughter in late 2011. Things were not going well with my ex fiancé and I stopped wearing my ring. I didn't care for him much but one day I walked by his desk and he grabbed my hand and asked if every thing was okay. To make a long story short we exchanged numbers a few weeks later and the texting began. He would follow me into the basement at work and passionately kiss me. I was excited, I felt alive so to speak when I was around him. Week later I went to his place after work and things went too far, there was so much chemistry I couldn't resist him. This persisted for several months and eventually I developed allot of feelings for him. He was non committal and would avoid any topic of us getting into an actual relationship. He began to suck the life out of me, buying him groceries, breakfast, paying for weekend getaways, driving him here and there. At the time I felt the more I did the more he would want me and commit to me I guess.
Fast forward six months after it all started he was texting other girls at work, emailing them, asking them out for drinks. I suffered, my job suffered, I was in a constant state of anxiety at work every day. I was confused. I thought he wanted me, right? I stuck through the hell and eventually we became an item, so I thought. In late 2013 he started withholding sex and intimacy from me. It drove me crazy, I coukdnt understand why the insane sexual connection we once had had totally disapated. I drove myself mad...was he cheating? Was I no longer attractive? etc. This alone fueled my insecurities ten fold...but once again I stuck it out.
When we would argue or I would try to talk to him about anything he would retreat, he would hang up, ignore my calls, block my number, etc. I left the job in 2014 for a better opportunity, working with him was pure hell. He was manic, one day he would love me the next he would ignore me. Although we had a full blown relationship outside of work. The confusing thing is we had a great time together sometimes, he could be so loving...at times I felt such a strong bond with him. But he is selfish, everything started to revolve around him (as if it already didn't). Things went more downhill than ever this new years. I suspect he has for sure emotionally cheated and wouldn't doubt if he physically has. After all I've had to beg him for sex for over a year and half. And when we did have sex he was disengaged and uninterested. The verbal abuse started in January, although the emotional abuse was always present I just didn't realize it. The ignoring via phone started happening at least once or twice a week. Which made me feel like a crazy person...constantly calling him, texting, needing to hear he loves me, needing to know he wants me. No matter how ugly he started to treat me, I would stay, I would beg...I was always made to feel I was in the wrong, like somehow I deserved it. After all I was crazy according to him.
Only the last few weeks did it dawn on me that he is quite possibly a narcisist and I need insight as to if he really is. There is allot more to this story, but it's far to much to get into every detail. This past Friday I text him saying I want him and miss sex or something along those lines and he actually got angered by it. He has ignored all of my calls and when he has answered or text me it's only to berate me and call me a dumb bitch or crazy and stupid. He admitted to not loving me and admitted to using me for all he could get. I'm in a very bad place emotionally right now and need to begin no contact. The past two years of my life have damaged my soul, my actual worth. My heart is broken and I can't believe this has happened to me.