I have a stepdaughter who is 25. My NH and his daughter reunited when she was 16. My relationship with her has always been easy and comfortable from the start. I have grown to refer to her as my other daughter. (I have 1 biological daughter who is 29).
My stepdaughter and my daughter get along like sisters. Before I left my NH his daughter just disappeared out of our lives. She changed her phone number and poof was gone. A year passed and I always wondered what happened. When I would question my NH he would say how disrespectful and ungrateful she was. He did nothing for her for the 1st 16 years of her life. She was raised by a single mom who cut my NH out of her own life completely. (Now I know why).
After I left my NH my daughter called me and told me that my stepdaughter wanted to see me but not if her dad was around. My daughter told her that he was gone, that I had left him. The same day my stepdaughter called and we reunited. She came over to my house, she wanted to see her little brother. (she didn't see him in a year). When I questioned her about why she cut off her father, she said that she was tired of his fantasies. (she spotted the narcissism). I just left it alone and enjoyed my visit with her.
After about 5 months and her visiting often she called me and said that she ran into her father in traffic and he stopped the car in the middle of the street, got out and said that it has been long enough and demanded her phone number. She said that he caught her off guard so she gave it to him. She was very upset.
I just told her please don't talk about me to him and don't let him talk about me to her. She said that she understand and that was that. Then she called about 4 days later and told me that he has been texting her everyday all day since she saw him. She seemed very annoyed and I just laughed it off. I kind of pulled away because I didn't want to be in the middle and I did not want to break NC. She and I would text about twice a week just to say hello.
Yesterday I was relaxing at home and she texted me and said ma it's me ,this is my new phone number lock it in your phone. She also said that she would be coming to the house later that evening. She came and we had a good time and she just blurted out. "I will never, ever give him my phone number again". And she said she never answered any of his texts and she is done with him. I feel bad for her but I don't know where I fit in all of this. I love her like my own child but I feel guilty because she feels this way about her dad and she and I have a wonderful relationship.
Should I continue my relationship with her?
He also told her that he was going through a divorce (no one filed yet) But she knows the truth already.