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My Soon To Be Ex N is stalking me

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#1 Aug 29 - 7AM
drivencrazyinflorida
drivencrazyinflorida's picture

My Soon To Be Ex N is stalking me

I moved out of our home three months ago with little more than my makeup and some clothing. Thought all was well until I noticed I was being followed (a detective he hired I'm sure). Then a few weeks ago the N showed up at the church I attend, even going so far as to talk to the pastor about me. This is the church he wanted nothing to do with when we were together!

Any tactics or ideas from anyone on how to handle this? I want to stay NC if possible but if I should confront him I will. Thanks for the advice.

Aug 29 - 4PM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

Did you explain to the judge

Did you explain to the judge that you are a victim of narcissistic personality abuse? Go to the Domestic Violence Department of your local Sheriffs office and explain your situation to see if they can assist you. Most all police departments have one. You may need a letter from a Therapist regarding this issue of NPD to take to the judge. If you have text messages where he is contacting you explain that you have conveyed a strict No Contact rule with him and he is refusing to comply. He cannot harass you and legally get away with it. He does not need to physically threaten you personally. Going to your church or contacting friends and family to talk about you is a form of harassment. Show all text messages and get a letter from your pastor to show the judge. Do not let this issue go. If you are persistent they will do something about it. Sometimes they require a bit of a push. Please keep us posted hun..xoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Aug 29 - 9AM
faithinthefuture
faithinthefuture's picture

This scares me

This scares me. Can you get a restraining order? why would he have a detective following you? how did it end when you left? what did he say to the pastor? did you tell the pastor about him?
Aug 29 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
drivencrazyinflorida
drivencrazyinflorida's picture

I can't get a restraining

I can't get a restraining order because he hasn't physically threatened me. I'm not sure what he said to the pastor but he was concerned enough to contact me and ask if I was O.K. My ex will not accept that the relationship is over. He tries to manipulate everyone around me to get me to come back.
Aug 29 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
drivencrazyinflorida
drivencrazyinflorida's picture

Oh, and as far as having me

Oh, and as far as having me followed, he wants to know what I'm doing all the time. He will pay a private detective to do surveillance and videotape me if I see I am seeing anyone else (which I am not). He can use this an intimidation tactic if I file for divorce. Not a nice guy.
Aug 29 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
faithinthefuture
faithinthefuture's picture

Oh drivincrazyinflorida

i knew you were going to say you could'nt get a restraining order. many years ago I was being stalked..he would call break into my car and watch whatever i did but because he never threatened me I could do nothing. He sounds obsessed with you. Just try not to go anywhere without someone with you ok? I know that sucks and may be hard to do but until this asshole backs away you need to keep yourself safe.
Aug 29 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
drivencrazyinflorida
drivencrazyinflorida's picture

Thanks faithinthefuture and Betty2020

You have both given me good information. My ex has been physically abusive in the past and I will admit that I afraid of what he may be capable of. Thank you for responding and I will take your advice.