My Narc wants to Apologize Face to Face

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#1 Apr 16 - 8AM
Little Bird
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My Narc wants to Apologize Face to Face

I spent 9 months in counseling recovering from a 12 year relationship with a narc. We divorced over a year ago and now he has contacted me through email wanting to make amends. He refuses to believe he is a narc (of course), and has been going to sexaholics anonymous 12 step meetings (that's a whole other story). He is apparently on to step number 9,"Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." I guess I'm step number 9, which angers me so much (yet another piece of the puzzle to fix HIS life with no consideration of how it affects mine). I went back to my same counselor I was seeing previously (who was also our marriage counselor until Mr. Narc quit) and she gave me these 3 options.

1) Do nothing
2) Meet with him (in counselor's office), hear the apology, make no response, end the session, leaving him completely alone
3) Tell him I don't need an apology, but he should make one to our dogs (which he left and haven't seen since)

Option 1 he would use to make himself the victim yet again.

Option 2 would take complete power away from him, but I'd still get to hear the BS come out of his mouth. I will have a very hard time keeping my mouth shut and my eyes from not rolling into the back of my head.

Option 3 would catch him off guard and he'd have to come up with something on the spur of the moment, instead of something rehearsed, which is what option 2 will be, rehearsed, fake, just a check mark on a list.

Does anyone have anything to add? I'm leaning towards option 2, but I feel like there needs to be more, but that might be me just playing into his narcissistic mind games.

Apr 19 - 10PM
Im_always_fine
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What's in it for you? How

Apr 19 - 2PM
ForeverFreedom
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your narc wants to see your face

Apr 19 - 8AM
Walkingonsunshine
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Option number one, and why do

Apr 18 - 7PM
Walkingonsunshine
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It's bullshit, trust me, sex

Apr 18 - 7AM
boomer14
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My experience with "apologies"....

Apr 18 - 6AM
Deidre99
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From my observations on here

Apr 17 - 3PM
Pearl430
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personally

Apr 17 - 8PM (Reply to #52)
Done sourcing
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Pearl, this is so definitive

Apr 17 - 6AM
Little Bird
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My counselor has never told

Apr 18 - 6AM (Reply to #50)
Used
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Littlebird

Apr 17 - 12PM (Reply to #49)
Deidre99
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There should only be one

Apr 17 - 11AM (Reply to #48)
Laci423
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Little Bird

Apr 17 - 10AM (Reply to #44)
IncognitoBurrito
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Hmm

Apr 17 - 11AM (Reply to #45)
talktothehand
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A year out

Apr 17 - 1PM (Reply to #46)
IncognitoBurrito
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It's

Apr 17 - 4PM (Reply to #47)
Janie53
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IB

Apr 17 - 10AM (Reply to #43)
Janie53
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LB

Apr 17 - 6AM (Reply to #42)
Hunter
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You asked a question and

Apr 17 - 5AM
freedom2be
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My 2 cents

Apr 16 - 9PM
Done sourcing
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He wants to tell you in

Apr 16 - 7PM
IncognitoBurrito
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History

Apr 16 - 1PM
Deidre99
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And the thing is....you know

Apr 16 - 1PM
Stand.STRONG
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little bird

Apr 16 - 1PM
mystwoman
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I agree totally with these

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Apr 16 - 11AM
Janie53
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Little Bird

Apr 16 - 11AM
Deidre99
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Stay NC and find a therapist

Apr 16 - 11AM (Reply to #29)
Little Bird
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Read option #1 again.

Apr 16 - 11AM (Reply to #30)
Deidre99
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That should be your only

Apr 16 - 11AM (Reply to #31)
Deidre99
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And I noticed thatch r

Apr 16 - 12PM (Reply to #33)
talktothehand
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Little Bird