My Narc actually said he was wrong for things..tonight..

14 posts / 0 new

#1 Oct 3 - 9PM

shortway

My Narc actually said he was wrong for things..tonight..

So after blasting my N...He actually came to and said he was wrong for things..the N finally broke..we actualy had a noraml conversation and the N didn't try to hurl stuff at me so much..he was testing if I would go ape on his arse..but I didn't played it cool..it was actually a good conversation and gave me the peace I was looking for...I know it's not the same for everyone but he actually was authentic..since we both calmed down after the big crzy cheating on both ends episode...NC is the way to go,but I just didn't get the peace I was looking for from it..I'm at peace now..

#2 Oct 4 - 9PM

iAmMINE

shortway @ PeAcE

deja voo I've been here; recently (within the last 12 months). Emeshing once again w/N (even if not in emotion ;) ~ all in the "name of authenticity"...

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

#3 Oct 4 - 9PM (Reply to #12)

shortway

Yeah I think he's just an

Yeah I think he's just an N..tonight I really do..Its like i'm just supply for him..supply supply..I went NC yesterday but he didnt...Cause like why is he trying to talk to me if he is soooooooooo happy in his 1.5mth relationship..what's the reason...for supply probably..

#4 Oct 4 - 10PM (Reply to #13)

iAmMINE

shortway & thinkin'

it matters not what we think of them... nor what they think of us... it matters tho what you think of yourself. we have only to cut off the supply. that's our ONLY responsibility ;) PS: he's not just an 'N' 4.2nite... he's an 'N' for every night. (promise cross my heart) but... You decide ;) u or that? nuf said ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

#5 Oct 3 - 9PM

shortway

Also I can very well go NC

Also I can very well go NC now if I wanted to..I couldn't before because I didn't have peace..With peace it's so much easier to go NC..So however you get peace try to get it it will help...

#6 Oct 3 - 10PM (Reply to #9)

better off

No offense, shortway, but

No offense, shortway, but this is not good advice to give people on the board... to say "So however you get peace try to get it it will help..." If you are truly dealing with a narcissist they are not going to give you peace, and chasing them for it is a recipe for more trauma. Maybe your exBF isn't a narc, or maybe he is, he is definitely a substance abuser and that may be the root of your problems. For 99% of people reading this, "trying to get peace" FROM the narcissist will end in disaster. The way to get peace is to find your own peace and to walk away from an unchangeable pathological individual. If he IS a narc, then this will not be the end of it unless you make it be the end of it. Either way, if you have the peace and closure you claim to have you will go ahead and block him now and let it be over. Instead, I think you are entertaining the idea that y'all have settled things out and will just be buddies in the future. Not sure there. In any event, no one in recovery in from a pathological narcissist needs to be pursuing that narcissist for closure. If you need closure, then close the door...

#7 Oct 3 - 10PM (Reply to #10)

shortway

I DO NOT MEAN whatever you

I DO NOT MEAN whatever you have to do to get peace FROM HIM..I mean within yourself,someone get peace..Peace is most important in this whole thing..So thta's not what I meant...But yes he is a substance-abuser..I'm not sure if he is 50%nrc 50%abuser.. I mean however you can get peace somehow from yourself try to get it...Should have re-asked me..i wouldn't suggest chasing down the N..But y situation isn't the same as others..everyone's is different.

#8 Oct 3 - 9PM (Reply to #2)

MsVulcan500

You have closure.

Are you ready to go NC now?

#9 Oct 3 - 10PM (Reply to #3)

shortway

Yes i am going NC now..We

Yes i am going NC now..We went through a warzone and it is best we take time apart..It has been wa very damaging thing for us..We were friends for 15years,best friends for 3years...and dated in there..Then both basically cheated at the same time,out of insecurities..We both have alot of growing up to do..I learned alot from what happened..alot from our behaviors..We went crazy..literally..I have peace now,we need time apart,I need time to be single...

#10 Oct 3 - 10PM (Reply to #4)

MsVulcan500

Good, glad to hear that.

I'm really glad you are going to do this now. I'm glad you got some peace from this so you can focus on you and your life. Take care of yourself and if you get weak, we are all here to support you.

#11 Oct 3 - 10PM (Reply to #5)

shortway

Thanks!!you guys saved my

Thanks!!you guys saved my life...Of course I will get weak...but at least I can help others in the menatime in here.lol..It's a rough road...I feel for all of us..Between the loss,the missing,the anger,the betrayal,the abusiveness...we all have alot on our plates...then functioning at work and looking good...But hey we are women and we are warriors:)

#12 Oct 3 - 10PM (Reply to #6)

MsVulcan500

Yes we are,

and we are fighting the hard fight. The one for ourselves. These men cannot change and nothing will ever be good enough for them. The only way to save ourselves is to go NC and never let them affect us again. It is all about us now!

#13 Oct 3 - 10PM (Reply to #7)

shortway

Yes i believe that..i have

Yes i believe that..i have to entertain the fact that it might be that he is a substance abuser and these are the mood swings etc.. and that he is possibly not a N.How can you tell..it's tough..He's is taking like 3 different pills,alcohol,etc..I am guessing substance abuser with mood swings sprinkled with a little bit of N...I know the doctor prescribed him antidepressants,anti-anxiety,sleeeping pills,and he drinks,..he is on new pills....i just need to stay away from him because of his substance abuse that's first and foremost..

#14 Oct 4 - 6AM (Reply to #8)

gettinbetter

You can tell when he is an N

You can tell when he is an N when you read all of the posts here and they seem painfully familiar to you. When you read this stuff you know in your gut. You either get that feeling in your or you dont.

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