My life now... after being in a relationship with a guy who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
jessicazamm
jessicazamm's picture
My life now... after being in a relationship with a guy who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder

Dear Readers,

The story i am going to say is 100 per cent real, and i do not wish anyone to pass from what i'm passing through, as narcissistic abuse can be as bad as any other type of abuse. Up to 3 months ago i was living the happiest times of my entire life, with the man i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with, in fact 3 weeks after he disappeared we were having the time of our lives in Santorini. I have been in this relationship for 3 years, and never saw it coming. At the time i met him through my brother, i wasn't looking for a new best friend nor for a lover. He was my first relationship, the first guy i ever loved. I never believed in love at first sight, and never encountered a love and feeling so deep for anyone before. The night we met, he didn't take his eyes off me, nor did i. The connection i felt was something i never experienced before. He came up to me and started speaking, from that day on, for 3 whole years we never left each others sight.

He came into my life unexpectedly, and i came into his as well. Despite our age difference, me being 24 at the time and him 19 going on 20, we hit it off immediately. We were compatible in everything, shared the same passions, spoke about everything for hours and hours and laughed all the time. We spend everyday together, picnics, lunches, dinners, days by the beach, long walks, the whole time sharing smiles with one another, it was just too good to be true. We never argued or fought. We visited places we dreamed about, well i took him places he dreamed about, Christmas in Paris, Disneyland, lavish dinners in Paris, Santorini, Germany, i moved heaven and earth to share dreams with the man who i thought was going to love me forever. We spoke about anything and everything, and had our own 'language' so to speak. I was like living in a fairy tale, i was never sad about anything, all my worries were gone, i wasn't afraid of anything anymore. I used to say to myself why me? How am i living this fairy tale relationship?

Our families grew very close, we spent Christmas, Sundays and whatever day together, even though our family dynamics were very different. His father left at the age of 4/5 and was raised by his mum, grandma and older sister.He regarded his sister as a 'shrine' she was the most beautiful and will never let him down. He was raised to look up to her as his savior,however she never did the things i did for her brother, i was his support system in everything, i prepared him lunches or dinner, i bought him clothes i took him on dream holidays, she was never at home. I was the one who told him we can get through anything in life, not his sister. I showered him with gifts all the time, but he only did so on occasions, never a thank you card from him.

There were some red flags, which i decided to ignore, i mean who's perfect? In the first ages of the relationship he told me, he never shows his feelings. And boy he did. When something was worrying him or upsetting him i always knew, and confronted him about it, to help him talk about it and told him he could speak to me about it, but his reply was there s nothing worrying me. But then later he would confess on texts that he would be upset about something, like his job. money etc. We never argued, however the one or two occasions i didn't agree with his decisions, he used to give me the silent treatment. The one time i closed my eyes on the sofa he just got up and left home, without saying goodbye, the one time i closed an eye, and i was the one who was always complementing him, caress him and give him all my attention. On his graduation day , at the after party after spending 30 mins with his friends laughing he told me its time to leave their not people i associate my self with anymore. When my aunt passed he ever gave me his condolences, when y dad was diagnosed with cancer, he never told me i ll be here for you, everything is going to be OK, he never showed any emotions. I said i love you first by word, but from that day one he only said i love you on texts, he only said i love you by mouth after 2 years, 2 months before he dumped me. He was always right about everything and only his goods were right. Being choosing a restaurant, hair tools(stupid stuff). what food to buy etc...

How did he disappear ? As i told you his disappearance came in like a sudden death. All these 3 years we were always out, enjoying life, traveling the world and all the time laughing, After graduating college( myself) his grandma assured me that she will help me find a a job and start my career as she s a prominent figure in politics in my country, however after months of empty promises. i found out she was doing the opposite, she never wanted help me because she never wanted me to succeed more than my ex's sister. In fact his sister now is dating a prominent person also in politics because that was her grandma s aim, she never really wanted me to be better then my ex sister and she put her on top, and she did not help me to find a job as i was not in a possession of a masters or PhD as she said. I felt very betrayed and upset and told this whole story to my mum via text messages.

My ex decided to break into my phone and read these upsetting messages about what his grandma was doing all along. After he found these he got into a rage of insulting me and my mum, leaving me just saying enjoy your life and don t look at me and my family again. From that day on i never saw him again. He found it so easy to leave and cut me off his life immediately. The minute he felt i disregarded him and his family he forgot what we had shared. Even though i messaged him that i was severely depressed and seeing a psychologist he told me it was my problem.

After 3 years of bliss and happiness he just got out of life in a second, he is now dating someone else already. After consulting my psychologist she told me he has Narcissistic personality disorder, as i had described to her, his behavior. I gave up my life for him, and made everything possible for him. I still think about him every day and night, i mean we used to share each minute of our lives together. I still feel empty and feel like i lost my soul mate, i still struggle to this day, even though its been 3 months. It feels like a lost a part of me, nothing used to worry me anymore, when i was with him i felt nothing could stop me. I take life day by day and i am trying to build my life all over again. I do not wish anyone to pass what i have been through and if your partner shows any narcissistic traits seek help or run!

ItsFinallytime
ItsFinallytime's picture
Hi jessicazamm. Welcome to
Lookforward
Lookforward's picture
This story makes me
jessicazamm
jessicazamm's picture
my story
Hunter
Hunter's picture
Google mother enmeshed men.
Lookforward
Lookforward's picture
Monstrous people. Read the
Hunter
Hunter's picture
Welcome to Narcville,First