The Path Forward Virtual Retreat Febuary 2021!


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#1 Jun 2 - 1PM
virgo1286's picture


Hello I am new to this site, but im happy I joined, because it gave some clarity to some things im going through with my girlfriend, ok here is my story im 25 years old and my girlfriend is 38, when we first met, it was like fireworks I felt like we soul mates, she just seemed to love me off the back and very much wanted me to be in love with her, but it was cool cause she seemed like a really great person, but when WE met I was in a tight space, I had lost everything my place, my job everything seem bad at that point, but she didnt seem to care she still wanted to be with me, there were times in the course of dating her that she would say off the wall stuff like if she felt someone did something wrong to her, she would set out to get them back in the worse way, and or drop off the face of the earth after spending time to get know a person or a real intimate time with them, she felt those things were funny, I dont know why I didnt see warning signs then, I guess I was just so in love with her- anyway fast forwarding she ask me to move in with her and she would help me get my life together I was reluctant at first cause I didnt want to ruin our relationship, but I took the help anyway, no sooner than I moved in the house, it just seem to take the turn for the worse it felt like we were distant strangers, she wasnt affectionate, she was moody, there was times she would say things like I want my life back, or she would devalue me and treat me like I should put up with her mess since she was paying my way of life, then in the next breath she loved me to death and was totally needy, her needs came before mines, It was like I had to step on egg shells, cause I didnt know what would make her crack, sometimes in the morning I wouldnt even speak first because I didnt know what mood she was in, once she would speak then I would know how to perceive her, one time I woke up and was excited about a job that I found and I was telling her about it, she cursed me out, that was kind of the up close and personal out burst it hurt my feelings and I got quite, I kid you not like ten minutes later she was cool and joking with me, like nothing happen. I was speechless alot of these things kept happening to the point I was feeling like I was the crazy person, then there was moments where she just want to spend all the time together, and it was no breaks until she said so, she has done so much I literally can write a book, but lately she been doing these disappearing act, like back in june she basically cut me off and I didnt hear from her for like almost a month in a half, during that time, I was completely heart broken I felt abandon and lost, mind you now I have abandonment issues and she was well aware of that, so I blocked her on fb, and I didnt call her, I was so love sick to the point I didnt want to live any more, I just didnt understand why she would do that,I was so lost I started calling physics- I wanted answers that bad, It led to me forming a physic addiction, which is a hard habit to break which I will explain later on in the story, I forgot to add the break ups was constant, she would break up with me and a week later she wanna be back together. but when she fell off the face of the earth for that month in the half thats what bothered me, after awhile she started to try to get in contact with me, but I ignored her because I was so hurt, but after awhile I decided to talk to her, when she called she act as if nothing happen, and had the nerve to ask me how long am I going to stay mad at her, I was pissed, I was filled with so much emotions I could scream, I went off on her, later I learned that turned her on cause It meant I stilled loved her, she asked to be friends and I told her idk and then she tried to turn it around by saying you dont have to be my friend thats ok I shouldnt have asked, knowing how I am she knew I had a weakness for her so she knew after awhile I would give in,some days had passed and I didnt give in to her wishes, so then I get a heap of angry text mgs from her stating im broke, a prostitute and eveything else, and what was the crazy part at the end of saying all these things she begged for me to talk to her, I gave in and called her, and she was so calm and content, and then we got back together, when I took her back everything seem find, she would have her occasional outburst but nothing too extreme, but then so scared of a repeat of her leaving I found myself drawing closer to her to the point I abandoned everything in my life, and once I was kind of way too dependent she started claiming I was smothering her and I was controlling, but I wasnt any of those thing at least I didnt think so, because it always felt like I was always in the wrong, sometimes I feel frantic like I did something bad, or I did too little, or I left her alone too long, I would cancel things with my friends for her, she never put her hands on me but I still just walk around with that fear of like she did, one time my friend ask me if she was beating me, because of how frighten I seem, but just as soon as she was mean, she would turn around and be nice better then nice, when that happen I felt like I was insane because I would get so lost in the good so when the bad happens, I feel like I have been slapped double time, my worst fears happen again she did another disappearing act,mind you now when she disappeared the last time she was gone for a month in a half and when she returned she boasted about all the things she did, dates with other women all kinds of stuff so i was so scared because it finally felt we were better and I fell deeper for her and she made it seem like she was ready to have a family with me and my son, so here is what happen; she was living with me and for a little bit things was fine it finally seem like we were ok, she just got seperated from her husband of 10 yrs, so I know its some emotions with that, so she was staying with me, now her husband had to go to visit his family in another state and she didnt seem to like the idea even though she didnt want to deal with him at all, I guess it brought back feelings of abandonment, so with him leaving she had to move back to her house cause her son was there, so she moved some of her things out of my house and back to hers and she lfet alot of her stuff at my house because she was coming back when her husband returned back to their house, a couple of days passed and she seemed to be getting stranger by the day but I still spent the nite at her house cause we was use to sleeping in the same bed together, now my friend had came down to stay at my house cause her car broke down and we work at the same place, she needed rides to work, I told my girlfriend about the sitiuation, and she acted like everything was fine, and then later on that week she really started to be cold to me, wouldnt answer my calls, send short text mgs, and then one day she called me and ask could she come to me house to get some of her things and I said sure, and then I felt a racey feeling like it was something more to the story, so later on that day when I got home I saw that she took all of her stuff even down to the food she bought when she was living with me, but what was the most shocking was she took the bill money that she gave me for bills, that hurt me like a ton of bricks. I didnt hear from her for awhile close to week and a half I couldnt even get up the energy to say anything, and the strange part is she still was holding on to my key and it scared me a little bit, I didnt know if she was gonna come to my house when I wasnt there, I had no clue, soon she contacted me and told me she wanted to give my key back I said cool, I said I couldnt get it at the minute but she could drop off the next day, she went crazy saying there is no reason to see you I will drop it off at the apt manger, I said find, the next day she text me again and ask about her external hard drive I had could I bring it to her I said fine, I took it to her house where she gave me back the key with saying a word my heart sank I felt like I was nothing anymore, I dont know why I get so emotional when she breaks up with me since she does it all the time, no sooner as I pilled out the drive way she calls me and say thank u, I just was like ok, so then she calls me again by this time im enraged i answered the phone and im like what do you want and she says do you wanna get something to eat I said fine and so I circled backed to her house and got her, she turns to me and start acting all jokingly I just ignored her and she asked can we talk so I said ok, she basically was mad cause my friend was there, and I didnt pay her any attention and I didnt ask her can my friend stay in my apt, she pegged me as not being loyal, she tried to convince me to kick my friend out and since I didnt she left again,but honestly I felt deep down the end was drawing near, I had a sick feeling like she broke away to engage with another female, her actions at that time seemed strange like we wasnt really sexual, lets take it back a few she often told me she doesnt have a sex drive, but I found out later it was to control me, and my dumb butt just stayed committed, she started hanging with new people that encourage her to do bad things, she started to flaunt women in front of me but she claims she never cheated on me they are just friends and they mean nothing its just harmful flirting, but the sex thing really blows me away one minute she wanted all the time and the next minute, feels like I disgust her, and im making her my sex slave, or thats all I want, I got to the point, I became numb to even asking for anything in that way, everything is on her terms, well fast forward to the present time she broke up with me again and this time I want to be strong and not allow her to come back Im happy I found this site, im gonna have part 2 to this story cause its so much more, my head is spinning.

Jun 19 - 10PM
Deidre99's picture

how are you doing so far? i

Jun 4 - 4AM
Costa's picture


Jun 2 - 4PM
Hunter's picture

Welcome to Narcville.. Hunter