My Dad, the flaming narcissist

It wasn't enough that he killed my mother by beating her down for 56 years until she couldn't take it any more and lost her will to live with his abuse any longer....actually, he alternated between me and my mom. When she wasn't good supply he turned to me. Yes, I was one of my father's "OW." He's 83 and I want to do the right thing but because I won't make him the center of my universe, I've become a target for his abuse. To be honest, I wish he would just die already because he's just a waste of space and just takes and takes and takes. It's all he's ever done. He had heart surgery when he was 49 and saw that as a good enough excuse to sit home on his lazy ass and not work any more and was happy to send his wife to work. It worked out well for her though because my mom did the right thing and focused on herself and cultivated tons of friendships with people who absolutely loved her. Something my piece of shit of a father will never know anything about.At her wake, a bus load of people from her senior group came to say good bye to her. I think this is the first time I've allowed myself to be honest about how I feel about him. I think I was afraid to be honest with myself because I was afraid I would "lose" something. Now that I know the truth, maybe I can let go of him. I'll still be kind to him but there is no place in my heart for him any more.I hate him right now. Thank you for this place to vent and know there are a lot of people right now who know exactly what I'm talking about and for that I'm so thankful.