My cousin (narcissist) is causing us pain
My cousin (narcissist) is causing us pain
Most of us are struggling with our exes. I still am a bit (the betrayal). Hence, when a new narc is around it triggers me so badly and causes me such pain.
My cousin (20yr old male) is causing such problems. My sister allowed him to move in with her. She wanted to help him by providing him a place to stay, bc he is attending college in her state and to have free room and board is immensely helpful.
This guy is definitely a narcissist. I have told my sister this. He clearly demonstrates the behavior on a daily basis. He punishes, engages in the silent treatment, has told her she is not intelligent because she didn't attend college, expects his laundry and meals prepared (which she does), never cleans after himself despite that he was given and room and private bath, he is RUDE, however when confronted he ALWAYS denies that the behaviors. Last week he and I had a HUGE HUGE blowout.
I ripped him apart in every possible way. The end result was that he ended up crying and asking me how could I say those things about him. Said he was a "nice" person and didn't understand why I had so much meanness and hate within me (insert eyerolling smiley). I told him to gather his things and GET OUT. I told him that I didn't care that he had no where to go and that he should have thought of that before he decided to abuse my immediate family.
((BTW he was given warnings about his behavior constantly for 3 months straigt))
He packed his things and then the next day told my sister that he would not be leaving as it would be inconvenient for him. She said ok. Told him that he has to try to be nice and that was that.
I know many of you will tell me to mind my business, however I have custody of my sister's children and I have allowed them to stay with her on a trial basis, in order for me to see if the transition goes smoothly for the kids to stay there permanently. Thing is, she is doing a pretty good job with the kids. However, I don't agree with having a narc in the house giving the kids the silent treatment, blaming them for stuff he does, or making them do his chores for him. If the kids were not in the house I wouldn't care that my narc cousin was there. Unfortunatly I have to be involved.
I wouldn't pull the kids away from her bc of this decision; however right now i am VERY ANGRY you guys. I clearly put him out and my sister allowed him to stay. I don't want him around the children and explained that to her. She understands narcissism and actually told me that I might have it wrong as far as his diagnosis (uhhhhh I've been a licensed psychologist for the past 10 years--- I know NPD when i see it!).
I'm just SO angry and disappointed in her.
You guys, I'm not sure what to do. It's not a situation where i would take the kids away during this trial period... bc she is doing pretty good with them. But I really don't agree with such a sick person being in the home!
Help!!
Its hard
Rache
Jessika
OMG
Its
My daughters
Oh... I forgot to mention
Jessika
She told him
have a strong talk with her now...
Make it a point about the children