Must figure something out. Tired of his nasty moods

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#1 Sep 18 - 4AM
RoseyRose
RoseyRose's picture

Must figure something out. Tired of his nasty moods

Today he called me his "pet" in an unflattering way. He has this nickname for me I hate when he says it. I have told him this so he does it 24/7 to the point some times he just keeps repeating it and I have to close my ears.

He is mean for no reason. Lately he has gone onto one of his darker modes ( had a mood swing ) and isn't saying that head space.

So now my anxiety is raising and I have major anxiety I can't ignore. I don't know what happened that his mood all of a sudden change towards me. It came out of nowhere. What do I do ( am crying ). I don't know how to deal with him with this.

I can't even have a regular conversation with him without him attacking me my thoughts ideas views. It could even be something that has made me happy and I just want to share it.

He will go into attack mode and demolish my reason feelings - just be dismissive and have a nasty additude.

What did I do ..? To deserve this bs.. I mean I just woke up and he is my partner so I want to communicate with him in loving normal way BUT NO. NOT going to happen

He tried to make me feel bad about my other things.

He has never worked a day in his life. LITERALLY! He is 20 years older than me and has been a trust fund kid his whole life and is now living off of his Parents hard earned money and stocks.

I know more about stocks than him. He just pays people to do everything.

He has never had it hard his whole life and doesn't realize what its like to want or have need. He was also only child.

After his parents passed away the home stocks bond ect all went to him.

I come from a ruff background. I have worked before but usually under table waittres jobs. Jobs like that can't be used on resume but it still counts as experience but its hard to communicative that on a job interview. No proof no refs ect

But I got along before we meant and I have had to struggle to sat alive eat cloth myself my whole life. I was in some of the slummiest group homes in Los Angeles Area ( NOPE am currently not in LA I wish I was ).

So I know what its like to go without ect

He mocks me. He is ungrateful for the easy life he has had.

TO end on good note I got in contact with sum 1 an old friend from California. I am trying to figure out if I can make it back out there. Am hoping I have the money if I end up having a safe place to go out there.. We will see

Sep 18 - 6AM
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

Rosey Rose, reading your post

Rosey Rose, reading your post sent chills up my spine. I think a lot of us who have left our Narc tend to bury the every day things that used to shake us to the core. My ex has very wealthy parents too, and a trust fund invested in shares for him. He has no idea what a hard life is and has only ever had a couple of jobs. I've worked shit jobs and fought my way through life, just to watch him mock me. He is making himself feel better for his short comings. It is all about controlling your emotions and getting that feed he desperately requires. You know you need to get rid of him and yes you should be able to talk to your partner about things and not feel like you are walking on egg shells. It got to the point where I couldn't even tell my ex what I did during the day because he would criticise me for the way I spoke, what I said...everything. It is like rehearsing in your head before being able to say good morning to someone.... Life will be better off without him, cut your losses and run for your life. You need to save yourself from this punishment. You deserve to be with someone normal!
Sep 18 - 6AM (Reply to #4)
RoseyRose
RoseyRose's picture

EXACTLY you understand

To experience confirmation of your feelings of the reality your forced to numb yourself to to and deny in order to survive IS burden lifting. You hit it right on point. Its like I feel like I should sit there like a baby doll and not speak. WHEN HE TALKS he demands wants full attention because what he says is so wise and great and ect Its so offensive for someone to "check" there nails when your taking or " look past you i.e. watching TV not respond or show they are even hearing you ( even thought your sitting across from them ) and to be so dismissive with you then THEN !!!!! 5 MINUTES later say something adn expect me to listen and give him eye contact ,,hahahaahlolol He is a joke. He is ride mean dismissive and not a good person. His parents were so rich they paid for his full schooling. Let him pick teh school. When he got in they paid for whole thing. No loans or state money grants ect All he does now is pay for live web cam girls ( who do sexual things. Its liek a at home online peepshow ) He takes drugs and is mean to me .. He doesn't really do anything. I am taking classes online for this internet certificate.. Forget to tel everyone. I hope it will make me more employable but after all it is just a online course. Not associated a actually college. But its a bussiness management ecourse. If you pass teh exams it has they email you a certificate. This is best I can do since ma stuck up here right now.
Sep 18 - 5AM
adoette
adoette's picture

RoseyRose

Hi, RoseyRose. Looks like you know what you have to do. You must get out. As soon as you can and whatever it takes. Get out. This man is a horrible narc. Horrible. Please act quickly. We're behind you. ~adoette
Sep 18 - 5AM (Reply to #2)
adoette
adoette's picture

RoseyRose

Rosey~ I wrote just saw your other posts. I will write more to you later. ~adoette