muldoons story

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#1 Mar 11 - 1PM
muldoon
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muldoons story

Hi, Im a 46 yr old mother of 4, all girls, 3 from my previous marriage and one with my npd partner of ten years.
When I met my npd he was charming and attentive, full on now I think back, he professed his love quickly and I fell hard. I told him all about myself and my previous husband who was a serial adulterer, he expressed disgust at it and said he could never understand a man who cheats upon his family.
He told me had been to prison and had not long come out, he told me it was for a petty theft. After I had fallen for him and he had been around 3 months he told me he was to appear in court for breach of parole, On the day of his court appearance he admitted he was actually appearing for burglary committed A WEEK AFTER his release from his previous sentence of two years.It was perfect in everyway, he was romantic, attentive and ideal in every way.6 Moths in to the relationship he was jailed for 22 months.
For 22 months he rang everyday, we wrote and I treked 300 miles once a fortnight to see him.
On his release he comes straight to mine and for a few weeks all was as it was. But then I noticed he would go in to black moods, nothing I can really put my finger on, he was quiet, withdrawn and as if his mind was somewhere else. Then he would after a few days be up the other way, overly happy, I assumed he was bipolar maybe and asked..He went in to a rage and it ended with him really reallly vile, calling me names, saying how he didnt want to be with me etc. I would say but we were happy a few days ago and he would deny this. I felt I was going insane.
Found a text he had sent to a woman and confronted him, he said " You are carrion, dead meat, even a vulture wouldnt want to dine on you, I am not happy with you and I want to end it. I cried and then accepted it, except he didnt leave, he stayed and just stopped speaking and if I pushed for conversation he would go wild.
Then without apology or any acknowlegement of what had passed he would deign to have sex with me and from then on he was back to mr charming.
We married and the day we got married immediately we got to the hotel he told me he hated me, didnt want to marry me and was like a a mad man. I walked out of the hotel in my long dress and began to walk home bare foot with him following me, all the way home (3 mile walk)and every step of the way eh told me how he was going to kill me immediately we were in the house, I was terrified, 3am, no one around.
When we got in I was aghast when he asked if I was horny and fancied a f***!! I told him he was nuts, it ended up with him holding a machette to my throat and keeping me in the house for 3 day abusing me all the while.
Since then I have on and off lived like that for ten years, I now know the trigger is if I criticise him or his judgement.
We have a daughter now and have been married 6 years together in all ten..its been hell.
last year a girl went over to him and gave him her number..before he had had a date or anything he started up the I dont love you and he left, he dated her but tried to say he was staying with family. I spoke to her and she admitted it and said she didnt know about me or the kids and she and I became kind of friends, She ended it with him and he chased her, when she wouldnt he came back here..He done the same 3 months later with another girl, I threw himout and after 11 weeks he was back here again but all the while he was gone he was evil to me..
The next time I got an inkling of a afafair I threew him out and went nc for 17 weeks, started seeing an old flame and wouldnt even look at him..He is back now and has been a year, the thing is I now know how to play it, I no longer beg him to be nice, if he dont speak nor do I. I dont care and he knows it.
You still cant say nothing negative to him but because of the nc last time it seems to be keeping him in check...But I sit and look at him now and half hate him hlaf love him.
Dont know if this is relevant...his sister has a hubby who adores her but if any man makes a pass at her no matter what thr man is like she will go off and fall for the man, it always ends and she goes back to her husband, its the same with my husband, a girl only ahs to smile at him and he will end a ten yr marriage, tell the girl he is in love with her and then after a few weeks, he wants to be back here.

Mar 12 - 5PM
Barbara (not verified)
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welcome muldoon

get into therapy with a TRAUMA COUNSELOR IMMEDIATELY - call a DV Center or Victim's Advocate if you need to get an advocate ASAP to get this man completely out of your life - NOW - PLEASE go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - PLEASE read the stories of others on SHARE YOUR STORY. This alone is one of the most validating things you can do! Far too many become completely wrapped up in their own drama... which just makes it all worse. It will also help you see the pattern of their INCURABLE PATHOLOGY. - PLEASE read through our WHOLE blog: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog - chock full of articles about Ns and healing Please read all the Rules prior to posting, as well - listen to our free radio show - archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim Remember this board is NEVER to be used as a replacement for therapy. Please find a therapist and start going as SOON as possible for whatever level of PTSD he's left you with!! BLOCK HIS EMAILS, IMs and TEXTS change your phone & cell numbers don't ALLOW him to contact you again... not pray for it! DO NOT ALLOW IT! NO CONTACT! Get to a PTSD/ trauma counselor ASAP... Healing takes a MINIMUM of 18 months (with TOTAL NC) and you will need support & help from a professional. Please get it ASAP. Do not date before 18 months has passed! KEEP THIS SOUL SUCKING, NON HUMAN PREDATOR OUT OF YOUR LIFE. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims