movingon1226's story

trying to move on

I dated my ex narc for 6 years 4 of those years we lived together and the last 2 we lived separately. Like many of you in the beginning it seems to good to be true because it was the most amazing relationship I ever could have imagined. At the time we met my son was 3 years old and he was great to my son and was blessed to have the opportunity to see my son grow up. We definitely had our ups and downs, I was ALWAYS the blame for everything and anything that happened. I could tell him how I felt and no matter what or how I said it he just looked at me and never had a response which always left me empty because in the beginning he would had done anything to make me happy.
We broke up about 8 months ago where we got into an argument and he just ended it no discussion no nothing. He than later in an argument said we hadn’t been together for the last 2 years which happened to be around the time we moved out from each other. So what I am learning about narcissists is they use so my guess is once he no longer had me to live off of and I moved into a house without him in his mind the relationship was done, he just continued to put up the façade for me. I than went on to find out that he was talking to other females the two years we lived separately. Mind you anytime in our relationship he couldn’t spend time with me because as he says “he was getting his shit together” when in reality he was living an entirely different life. I also recently found out that as of August he has been dating a 17 yr old girl and he is 38. Although he denies to people that is his girlfriend and also goes around saying she is 19 not 17 I know the truth deep down inside.
I recently started counseling and I see the reality of my relationship but I have my days where I sit there and can’t believe that while my son and I were sharing holidays with this man and making memories that all he was was physically there. He recently saw my son who he hasn’t seen since we broke up and my son now 11 said my ex waved and said hi. I was very upset because I kept thinking about how he told people my son was his son and that no matter what he would always be there for him and now that we are done he hasn’t even attempted to make contact.
What I want to get out of this is to truly believe that he is a narcissist and that he will be the same way with any other female as he was with me because in the back of my mind I fear that if he does make a serious relationship with this “teenager” than it will look like the relationship was all my fault.