moving on's story
moving on's story
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving weekend :0)
I have to say after reading some of your stories, my heart goes out to you all and I hope you all know that you deserve so much more and that life is too short to be stuck with these losers. I hope you read my story even though it's long because I've included almost every detail :)
I met this guy through a friend. I usually don't date guys from my own religion/culture simply because I haven't found anyone I am attracted to. This guy was the first one, so I thought it might lead to something special. From the first time we met there were red flags.
Instead of meeting halfway, he insisted I go to his area. We met in a public place and were going to catch the late show at the cinema. I show up at 10pm after a 1/2 hour drive and he shows up at 11pm after a 10-minute drive. Obviously not the most punctual person. He was so late that they shut down the theatre. We ended up going to Wal-Mart and bought some food and got some Redbox movies (I bought 2 for $2, he bought the food). We went back to his place and his room was a mess. He left me there and went to go pick up/drop off his friend who was really drunk at the club. We kissed and that was that.
I told him the following day to return the movies, he text back saying of course and asked if I wanted to hang out. I said I couldn't. The following week I get an email saying I was charged $15 because the movies were never returned. I asked him what happened and he said sorry and that he would return them and pay me back. I met up with him again and this time we got kind of physical. No sex since I'm waiting till marriage. After that I sent him an email noting all the red flags I noticed and asking if he wanted a relationship. I got no response for two weeks.
I end up going to his place after a couple of days with food since I felt bad about him being sick. I stayed with him and then left. The following day he calls asking if I can drive him to the hospital. I do and he pays me $40. I stayed with him until 4AM. His mom comes in town from NY and stays with him for 3 weeks. She called to say thanks for driving him to the hospital. I said no problem.
After about a month, we connect again and I text him saying "Hey, what's up?" He calls me and talks my ear off about how he is recovering from being sick, got fired from his job, and that he is broke and in debt. He then asks if he can rent a room at my place since I just bought a house. I said I would think about it. The next conversation we had was kind of serious and he said if he dated anyone that he would want it to be exclusive and I said I agreed. I told him I was loyal to a fault. He said that was good. He then said he had 2 girlfriends in the past that really screwed him over and that he did everything for them.
I end up being really nice to him and feeling bad for the poor guy. I let him do his laundry at my place, gave him food, gave him $300, helped him move his stuff into his car before he drove down to Houston, and basically was there for him and listened to all his woes. He seemed to be really protective over his mom and sister who live in NY. I didn't ask any questions though because I figured he would tell me if he wanted to. There were a couple of instances where he would start crying and I would then just hold him until he stopped (sounds like a baby huh?).
So he moves down to Houston and says he would probably move back here by December. I try to call him and text him, just to keep in touch. The responses were either "hey i'm busy, call you back" and he would never call back or no response at all. So I stopped. He contacted me after about 3 weeks and I ignored him because I was mad and thought he deserved a taste of his own medicine. Then a month later he contacts me on FB asking how I was a stranger and where I'd been? I said hey I have been here, whats up with you? After waiting for a response, I just said gotta go TTYL!
This whole time we were FB friends and so he knew what was going on in my life through there. Then one day I text him asking for my money back and he said that he would be coming up in December and would give it to me by then. I said ok. A few days after that I go on FB and see that he blocked all his pictures. I scroll down and click on a photo link that leads me to this girl's album. I click through and it's him and this girl on a romantic dinner date with a private booth and everything. He even comments on her photos with phrases like "Simply perfect" and stuff that he never ever said to me. I got so mad that I called him and text asking "Are you seeing someone?" An hour later he calls and I blow up on him.
I said that I had been waiting for him to return so that we could date. I said I was hurt. He said he was just dating and that we were in two different cities and that he would not do long-distance even if he found his soulmate. He said he was confused on why I was so mad since we weren't together. He said this is exactly why he doesn't want to be in a relationship, because of this drama. I was like what drama? I haven't talked to you in like 3.5 months!? I said that I have left you alone because I knew he was busy and getting his life together. He didn't even care. He said that he would call me the next day. He calls me the following morning but I don't pick up. The day after that I text him saying to send me my money through the mail and that no communication was needed after this. He says "koo" I lost it. I text him back asking "did you ever care about me?" I said I needed closure and he said he would call me later that night.
He never calls, I text him for 3 days, still no response. I decide to send him a final email and in it I say sorry for blowing up, this is how I felt even though no commitment was made, and asked if he ever appreciated anything I did for him. Then I listed what I appreciated about him and said I hope he would be happy and that he can find a girl to fulfill his needs. I then said I thought he was the one for me but that I would move on with time. Then I dedicated Sade's By Your Side video to him. I know that's gay but I told him you have to appreciate what you have in your life because you never know what tomorrow may bring.
I found out some stuff about him from a reliable source. Basically his father physically abused him, his mom, and his sister, which explains the overprotectiveness. In addition, in college he constantly cheated on girls and nobody really liked him. He apparently likes thick girls with big boobs (I don't qualify for any of this, so I guess he was using me...) and according to my friend " he is psycho, stay away from him." It's nice to know all this now. But it's weird...I feel like he needs help but he's not willing to accept his feelings...and that's something no one can help with but himself. I blocked him from FB and I'm so emotionally drained. If I think about it, the only thing he has going for him is his looks, he is really a beautiful man...not so much on the inside though. He is only 25 and my friend told me that he changed his FB status to In A Relationship right after our fight. I found this shocking since he blatantly told me he does NOT want a relationship right now. I just don't get it.
I'm trying to figure out what went wrong. When we were together, he was so sweet and so interested. He would feed me food when we went out (I paid for half), he would be affectionate with me, and was always very physically into me, etc. I thought he really liked me...but was he just using me? I am 24 and just bought a house, have a great job, and am currently pursuing my MBA. I thought a guy would want to be with me...could it be that he was intimidated because he is completely broke? I don't know...it's been 1.5 weeks since I sent him the email and no response. I don't expect him to respond but I have this feeling that he will be contacting me. And when he does, I don't know if I should totally ignore him (prob the best option) or answer and just act really happy (i do feel free now though my pride is bruised) and pretend like it doesn't bother me.
I'm so mad that he would take some stupid girl out when I was the one that did everything for him when no one was there for him...and then the silent treatment...how immature. That girl doesn't know but she is going to be treated the same way I was...feel kinda bad for her. I'm just doing my best to move on from a loser...