The most important thing to come out of all this for me is that i can now FEEL my boundaries!

My mother punished me for drawing boundaries by D&Dìng me every time I did it until I got the message. And since my encounter with the lady narc. yesterday, I now believe that actually I have always recognized female narcs when I encountered them in my life. It wasn`t that I consciously thought, "That`s a narcissist"; I didn`t know what narcissism was until a few months ago. But I could spot someone who would D&D me if I tried to draw a boundary straight off.
These people are quite terrifying because they are utterly ruthless. The will commit psychic murder without a second thought rather than allow a millisecond of lost power, a millimetre of lost ground which I personally find utterly reprehensible. And they`re SUCH great actors. Oh, they`re so hurt and so offended by you, so insulted and outraged boo hoo. My mother was GREAT at that. Boy, how she used to make me writhe in guilt for having been so egoistic and insensitive as to attempt to draw a BOUNDARY. Against HER! My VERY OWN MOTHER!!
And then umbrage. The cold shoulder, the silent treatment, the subtle and not-so-subtle manipulation: "If you don`t give in to me I won`t love you anymore", "Just lick my boots a little and say you`re sorry, and maybe I`ll be nice to you again" , "If you`d only bow down and admit I`m right yet again, we could be having so much fun now" tactics. The hurt little boy/hurt little girl act. The hurt little boy/hurt little girl faking nice to get his/her own way act (I find that one utterly repulsive). And all the rest of their paraphernalia.

And then, shockingly unexpected, like lightning striking, like the bite of a tarantula, swifter than a snake and just as terrifying - D&D.
You thought it would kill you? It was meant to.It was meant to be fatal. It is psychic murder.

The next time I feel that fear, I will know: Narc. The next time I feel the way I felt with her - right from the start, actually, - I will know, "boundary violation". I thought boundaries were something you draw and maintain in your head, but that`s only part of it. Because my body was telling me that my boundaries were being violated, loud and clear - I just didn`t know how to interpret it`s signals. And now I do.

Those gut reactions tell us, "This person is going to hurt me" and it makes sense to listen, because the gut is often wiser than the head (and ALWAYS wiser than the genitals).
So thankyou, nasty narcy woman, for adding to the funds of my knowledge on psychopathy, and how to protect myself against it. You wanted to kill me, but you only made me stronger.

Love
Tigerlily