missymella's story

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#1 Mar 31 - 12PM
missymella
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missymella's story

it hurts!

Hello.
I am new and still don't know if i should be here. I guess i am in what they call 'the fog'.
My story begins: I am living in country that isn't my own and i met a man who lives and works in this country - also not his own. I divorced 4 years ago having, at the time, a 2 year old.
so after 10 months or so alone I met this man and we were both part of a common group of friends, we eventually got together. He had never been married and expressed from the beginning his desire to settle down and have a family - until this point i had understood that he had lived the high life, had a fantastic and financially rewarding career and from what i understood, been unlucky in love 'women had never understood him'!

initially it was a whirlwind of trips to his villa, European cities, fabulous restaurants, impressive friends in the right places....

The first breakup was after 5 months. We had spent a fabulous weekend at his villa on a nearby island... upon returning he proposed to me that we make a deal whereby i have his child and he provide for us financially but that we live separately and of course separate lives! At this point I had fallen in love with him and was naturally devastated with what i was hearing....

After a couple of weeks we got back together with him explaining himself away and me along with his friends putting his words down to his 'quirkiness'. At this point i must add that * is very handsome and has on the surface a tight group of glamorous friends - who i grew fond of.

Anyway our relationship continued until the november when after a boozy lunch where he behaved outrageously and i ended up alone and crying I received what was to be the first of many emails, outlining the wrongs of the relationship. He ended the relationship via email. I was distraught but had to keep it together as i had a child to take care of and a job with commitments.

One month later he lured me back telling me he was confused and that i had neglected him and he hadn't felt the presence of a woman in his life. I took it on board and made the necessary adjustments. He then had me view close to 20 properties for us to set up home together - in the meantime we partied, holidayed..... i must add that he a great relationship with my child, who had to adore him.
He ended it again stating my lack of affection, attention etc.

One month later he came back, this time with gusto. I was delighted, i loved him. We gave up our apartments and moved into a brand new penthouse overlooking the sea. We planned to get married, have a child, my child was thrilled, the next 2 months were a blur of business trips, vacations, visitors until one morning i logged online to find his account open, he had been chatting with a woman arranging to meet whilst he was overseas... I called him he blew up and told me i had to move out we had made a big mistake! I was heartbroken, fortunately my child was on vacation with her father. I moved out within the week, he stayed away and only communicated with me via blackberry or email (which incidentally is the trademark of the who,e relationship)

My friends rallied, my family came over to help, my work was going well. I got my life back on track! Then the tsunami hit! He came back within the month, blaming me, emails and messages assassinating my character and those of my family and friends..... However he drew me back in and i was persuaded to try couples therapy.

There are so many more details and so many emails (that to an outsider would make for very interesting if not alarming reading) but to cut it short he got me back. A grand wedding was planned, venue booked, guests notified. The eve of going to buy the ring he sent me an email with bullet points outlining his fears, what he expects etc...
Going as far as to add that his money will only ever be for him and his child and my child will never receive a penny ( this little child who had known him practically all her short 6 years and adored him) I had never thought about this kind of thing previously and had already stated (due to his wealth) that i would sign a pre-nup - i am not a profiteer -

Anyway i even came around to his way of thinking... I now realise how low and manipulated i had become. I reasoned that my child had a living, decent father that provided for her but i wasn't able to reconcile the thought that i may possibly have two children being raised together but treated differently. I kept trying to convey my despair at the thought of this, only to be accused of playing the victim and projecting my issues onto my child. One of the last emails i received on this matter said "even if i choose to give my child a porche and **** is taking the bus it is not my responsibility".

I cut contact only to receive an email with attached blood results and he claiming i was responsible for all this due to his emotional stress!

There are so many more details and tons of emails from him that are so harsh and critical of me.

My crime has been loving him and trusting in the dream he allowed me to dream. Ironically he has since told me that this dream is all in my head, despite the many carrots he has dangled in front of me over the last 3 years.

I will stop now as i am sure i have rambled on for long enough. Trust me when i say there is a lot more. When i am feeling upbeat i fantasise on publishing all his emails - with their bullet points and preaching prose!

Anyway he broke me this time.

Apr 1 - 1PM
Hunter
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HARK,HARK.. I'm afraid Missy

Mar 31 - 3PM
Sparrow
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Missy, this is a sad but

Mar 31 - 4PM (Reply to #7)
missymella
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Thank you Sparrow. I feel

Mar 31 - 4PM (Reply to #8)
Sparrow
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He keeps coming back because

Mar 31 - 1PM
Trainwreck56
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Remember Missy it was HIM not YOU!

Mar 31 - 1PM (Reply to #5)
missymella
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.......???

Mar 31 - 12PM
ruby01 (not verified)
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missymella

Mar 31 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
missymella
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Thanks Ruby> It is just the

Mar 31 - 12PM
missymella
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re above