Misconceptions About the Narcissist

"Is there some good advice: Yes: Love yourself and not your reflection. And: There are a lot of nice people out there. Don't accept just any nasty piece of work because you think he might be the only one you'll ever find." Absolutely! I kept going back to and wanting to get back together with my ex when I first left him in February... Part of it was a fear that I wouldn't be wanted. Since then, I have met SO MANY nice guys! They DO exist! And each one of us is worthy of that. Amy :-)

This posting above really helped me. Thank you

Ns often DO orchestrate it - but for MANY - it's such a way of life that it's subconcious. They know it gets them what they want...period. If you have not read WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS - please DO SO!! It describes their processes in detail & goes into why, how, etc. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

Quote: "The beginning is just as grand as you make it, because you do most of the running around. The sex life is as good as you are. The fun is as much fun as you are. The conversations are just as good as you can be. It is all centered around you, and the narcissist just watches and goes along with everything." Barbara: I have never felt as amazing and beautiful and sexy as I did in the beginning of my relationship with my N. My question is: Did he PLAN this? Did he manipulate the relationship on PURPOSE to get to the devalue and discard part of the program? Do N's have an acute awareness of what they're orchestrating?? My N (quite frankly) was NOT the brightest bulb on the tree. He lacked intelligence and knowledge about so many things! His world was very narrow and small. He was ADD, ADHD, OC, and kind of dumb. He was beautiful, though and WITTY. What's with the witty comments and funny take on things? It's what kept me confused. I couldn't figure out how someone so good at finding really witty things to say could be so stupid! Also to quote: "because you are so much in the center, the narcissist prepares you for the emotional attacks later. This is why you end up doubting yourself, because there seems to have been an element of narcissistic behavior on your side at the beginning" This so matches how he 'went along' with all my plans and activities in the beginning only to completely reject my life as having any value at all. He would go to my friend's birthday parties and to see my daughter perform but after about a year he was finding ways to get out of ALL of it. Nothing important to me mattered to him at all. Am I A NARCISSIST TOO? I began to feel very neglected and hurt. I have wonderful friends and people in my life. I wanted to share my life with him and he didn't want to participate in ANY of it! I'm still trying to figure it out and I know that you'll probably say that the only figuring out to do is the fact that he hurt me and I have to move on.....but I want to just SCREAM!

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/

This left me with mouth hanging open. This touched a chord. It described my n better than anything I've ever read. Amazing