Met having an affair, should have seen this coming.......

1 post / 0 new
#1 Apr 18 - 12AM
Diamond31417's picture

Met having an affair, should have seen this coming.......

We met 17 years ago and I was married and he had been in a 13 year relationship but admitted he had cheated in her several times. Boy was I stupid! We moved in together straight away and he asked me to marry him 9 months later. I thought I was the luckiest woman alive. We had to wait until my XH would grant me a divorce but the ink was barely dry in fact 4 months and we got married. Now I can see it was all part of the control element and that he wanted no one else to have me.

Fast forward 17 years. His sexual appetite became more warped and he complained that I didn't show him enough affection. He's on anti depressants and has been having cibsellubg for years for anxiety. He has sucked the very life out of me. We have a daughter who is 10.

In January I sensed sonething was wrong so I tracked his iPhone as I suspected he was lying. Yes I was right he was staying at OW house and told me he was in a hotel. She is a co worker and 14 years younger. He changed overnight. I caught him out and he didn't like it one bit. I filed for divorce immediately as I knew I could not stay with him anymore. I have took enough crap off him over the years. He's so vain and thinks he is gods lift to women. I fell for it and so has she. He's moved in with her and is now "pretending" to be dad of the year. However my daughter has cottoned on to him already which he is trying desperately to fix as it shows to the OW how wonderful he is.

I am now finding out about other stuff he has done and today I'm off for a STD check as he has admitted to unprotected sex with her and me at the same time. What a d*ck. Who knows how many more there have been......

He meet the mediators a week on Friday and he has already threatened me that if he doesn't get half of the house he will take me to court and leave me penniless. What a nice man!

To top it all off I think I will loose my job, not due to this but it hasn't helped.

He has lied, cheated and made me feel drained for at least the last 3 years. Up to that point he was a loving caring husband and father. I now see him for the true person he is. Once his supply wasn't forth coming he has sought a new supply elsewhere. He said it was just sex at first but now he has feelings. More like she gives him a new fresh supply to make him feel alive again.

Well good luck to her! He will be engaged and married within the next year and a half. He doesn't want anymore kids as he is 46 but let's see if he changes his mind to ensure he secures her source of supply.

I feel so hurt and rejected. Unattractive, used and drained. But I know this will pass and I will cry less. I just hope our daughter isn't affected long term by his mind games. He told her that the new woman is only doing what I did to his ex and that he's done nothing wrong. He also told her that he hasn't loved me for a number of years. She is very confused and now has a counsellor. What kind of monster does that to his daughter?

I will get through this, but at the moment it's very raw. We do co parenting and when she is with him I am very lonely. But I just keep telling myself at least I got out when I didn't. His dad left his Mam but they had been together for 42 year. I suspect is is also a Narcissist.

Happy families!