Messed up.Had someone look at his Fb.He sent OW flowers

Blah..I know the drill..believe me..I haven't had any contact with the N and have been doing well.But I just put my hand in the fire and got burned..He sent the OW flowers for passing her test..Blah...
Meanwhile when I got D+D'ed he actually had to nerve to say to me'I never sent you flowers,when was that"...Dismissing him ever doing that"..He even did that to me..Guess it just feels like a punch to the stomach,
I also find it strange he is doing that because I'm going out with his friends/our mutual friends in a few days..He probably feels I will exploit him like I said I would in the last email..That I wil tell everyone the truth about him..SO this is a good chance..Good I hope he is shaking..
I know the whole NC, don't snoop,he doesn't think the way we do....I just needed to get it out!..Grrrrrr.What a fake..I'm not going to have anyone look.....Any thoughts on the flowers and the timing..Think he thought some mutual friend would see it on facebook and tell me and just to piss me off before I hang out with our friends..blah...I don;t want to be thrown back to square one so no harsh words ..thank you.

almostlydia's picture

No, No, No Harsh words! Why would they be, we all have done it in weakness. My first thought about the flowers is typical N. If you made a point about flowers in the past, he remembered it and did it for someone else, probably knowing you would see or at least hoping you would. This is a trait of the N's remember. They withhold all the things we want most and make sure they give them to someone else who doesn't give a flip. that's my take on it. almostlydia

almostlydia

shortway's picture

Yeah i see it as a jab...Being that I will be with all his close guy friends and family of his boss this weekend..It's like an act of desperation to hold on to the OW..because I threatened to tell everyone all about him..including them..There is a guestlist and he knows I am on it and his friends have to go because its' their cousins party..So it's like maybe a way to jab..Thats how I see it..I know there don't think like we do..But they are manipulative.cunning,slick,he will do anything to hurt me beleive me.
shortway's picture

Thanks guys.I have been doing so good...Working out,not thinking about him,moving on,hanging out with my friends..Not putting them through endless talks about him..God that got me angry..Only because he said"I didn't send you flowers,when was that"..to me..As part of the D+D..What a douchelord.I can tell you that sending them was all about himand how he would get a good reaction from her and feel worthy,needed,supplied..All about supply.I can just see him validated by her response..just another way to get supply..My friend said he is probably happy she passed her test so he could get drugs easier.It's for physician assistant I think..ANd he is probably happy that she will be making money..so he can live off her like he did me..Convienantely not having money on him.throwing stuff in my cart at the store,etc etc..USER!
chickon2's picture

I no snooping is a big no no no.. BUT dang the things you find out.. I feel like sometimes the reminder of the assholicness needs to be highlighted..(sigh) Like the flower sending.. PUNCH is right. Sorry chiquita... HUGS It is just more documentation that they live by a script.. THey have no soul.. They have no identity. They are only good at acting.. How.... scary
Disillusionedx2's picture

Sw, It could be a genuine act of friendship, in his mind, who knows? Asking others to determine what his thoughts were for sending flowers? what are you doing for yourself during this healing process? I can just about bet he's not thinking about you, he's got plenty of supply to feed off for the moment, he doesn't care about threats of exposure, he knows how to combat it, probably already has, telling everyone you're crazy, who agreed to check the fb for you? A friend? Harsh words aren't going to throw you back to square one, what you're doing can, do something positive for yourself, send yourself some flowers, smell the sweet scent of beauty you are and can be if you focus more on you, best wishes. stay~striving

stay~strong

Briseis's picture

You've gone how long without checking on him now? A lot longer this time :) Why don't you tell your friend(s) to tell you NO WAY next time you get weak and ask them to check his FB? Do it when you feel strong about NC, so it will be in place for the next time. Hopefully there won't be one, but we're all human here. He's out of your life, thank God. Do what you need to do to keep him out :)