Men and women -- are we just incompatible?

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#1 Feb 13 - 5PM
Warrior1
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Men and women -- are we just incompatible?

One of you wondered recently on this message board if you would ever have another relationship with a man after surviving a narc (Actually, I think it was if you would ever be attracted to another guy after surviving a narc). Tonight I am feeling the same way. I feel as if I have been so damaged by the Narcs in my past that I simply have no concept of what a healthy relationship is and that I will never have a satisfying relationship with any man. It seems like men are just some strange species I just can’t understand or communicate with.

It’s been more than 2 years since I’ve been away from my Narc and there are times that I feel I’m the best person I have ever been, that I can be on my own, be involved in my own interests and take care of myself. Other times, my rage over the past still hobbles me.

I’ve just cut ties with the most recent man I’d been seeing (not the narc), someone with whom I had a lot in common and enjoyed being with, but I could no longer live with his negativity, his larger-than-life personality, him not considering my feelings, him being sort of immature and wrapped up in his own life. We’d been together for about a year and a half.

I realize I made the choice to continue being in a relationship with him longer than I should have when I knew I wasn’t really satisfied. I sometimes wonder though if I will ever be happy with any man. So many times I try to say what I’m feeling and what I want and these guys make me feel like what I want is unreasonable, that it doesn’t exist, that I’m living in a friggin’ fairy tale. It’s like we’re talking two different languages.

I know I need to take some time to refocus more on myself and stop worrying about having a guy in my life. It was probably too soon after the last narc to get involved in a new relationship. It’s just become exhausting and irritating and ultimately seems like a waste of time. Or perhaps this is a sign of progress, that I know when I’m not satisfied and would rather just let things go. I just feel blue tonight and beyond broken.

Feb 13 - 6PM
onwithmylife
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hi warrior

I realize you have been here a long time, like myself, but your name is not familiar to me. Anyway i understand how you feel, I am 2 years out and have gone on some dates, but nobody who get my juices going so to speak or if they do, they do not want me, always this push//pull thing I seem to have, I do want to be in a good health relationship at some point but it is difficult to find someone who you feel comfortable in many different areas.We do speak different languages that is for sure, at least you realize the last guy is not for you, he sounds a little narky to me from what you said.It is tough and i have no easy answers myself.