Massacre of the English Language by Narcs

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#1 Oct 16 - 11AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Massacre of the English Language by Narcs

There are two narcs in my office with whom I have the severe misfortune to have to work with...but at the same time, they do provide an inordinately high level of amusement for me, personally.

I was raised to speak well...my grasp of the English language is vast...so when I see these two bumbling fools trying to "impress" everyone in meetings with their level of clearly superior intellect...and listen to them massacre the English language as they throw out words they have clearly no understanding of in meaning or diction, I snicker to myself...right after I cringe.

I work for the 4th largest insurance brokerage in the world...we're at a prospect meeting and one of the two idiots throws this gem out:

"Well, you can save money by installing wellness programs...for instance, you can implement a smoking sensation program" <----- LMAO!!!!!

"Smoking Sensation"? hahahaha! It's smoking CESSATION, Einstein.

And then they kinda jumble words together to make one completely incomprehensible hybrid...as I look around the table, I see the furtive glances between the VPs (read: decision-makers) at the prospect. I know we've lost the sale on the spot.

The other one is when I used the word "germane" in a sentence to an insurance carrier...the narc in my office really liked the word...but then went through my communication, as usual, making her teacher's corrections, and told me that I was using germane in the wrong context...germane = relevant. She thought it meant irrelevant...I had to point this out to her...and of course, correct HER...good times!

So narcs at work can be amusing, for real! Anyone remember Alexander Haig? The US Secretary of State at the time Reagan was shot? He was famous for using big words in the wrong context...it's the label I place on narcs who do this kind of stuff...I call 'em "Goin' Haig all up in here!"

Oct 19 - 8AM
Susan32
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I wouldn't let that title out my door...

As a published writer (for the past 8 years), I LOL'd when I broke NC and saw that the ex-Psych prof gave a lecture titled "Quietism on the Side of Happiness." His grammar was bad enough with me 15 years ago... and it has only gotten WORSE. I wouldn't have let that title out my front door, sorta like an indignant mother saying "I am NOT letting you out of the house dressed like THAT!" During the final D&D, the ex-P said, "I'm not angry. I'm offended." Tho I didn't have a thesaurus handy, I explained that being angry and being offended ARE THE SAME THING.
Oct 18 - 3AM
Syren66 (not verified)
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PS...the two narcs in my

PS...the two narcs in my office are females....LOL!
Oct 17 - 10PM
Hopeful36
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Mine responds like this if he

Mine responds like this if he was tired of me, would all change when he wanted me back. "golfing at (most expensive place) with VIPs." "busy" "talk later" "meeting" "home" "delete" (he didn't read it.) So frustrating! Then he would always confuse you're and your. But my phone inserts some strange things too.
Oct 18 - 11PM (Reply to #17)
foreverfun1
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i noticed mine would seem

i noticed mine would seem dyslexic and unable to spell when he was tired of me but when hoovering his grammar and spelling etc was perfect. i guess he just didnt care enough to put any effort in otherwise.it was like he was typing in the dark. that is if he even bothered to read or answer my msgs at all
Oct 17 - 5AM
Sea
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My Narcky is VERY GOOD with

My Narcky is VERY GOOD with the vocab to scold me: 1. presumptuous 2. arrogant 3. naive etc etc etc Otherwise, he's crap at communication. I would say lazy communicator. On text this happens: Me: "are we meeting at restaurant X this evening?" Narc: "Meeting" I went to restaurant X and waited, he never turned up. Because, he meant to say he's in a meeting so not coming!! and he blamed it on my Poor English cos English is not my first language. *LOL* I read and write 5 languages and I dont think I fare badly for English at all.
Oct 17 - 3AM
dulcinea441
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My narc, unfortunately, was a

My narc, unfortunately, was a brilliant and quite lyrical writer (although, seeing as he's a narc, not an original one -- he probably lifted a lot of his material, I'm sure). It was one of the things that won me over to him, his passionate and beautiful love letters. I only WISH he'd had been barely literate -- then I wouldn't have fallen for him in the first place.
Oct 18 - 2AM (Reply to #14)
Syren66 (not verified)
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All of the people I reference

All of the people I reference here are well-spoken...and intelligent to varying degrees...these aren't what I'd classify as knuckle-draggers... HOWEVER...you can be with someone who's intelligent while at the same time, also an utter fool. A narc can be quite intelligent, but if they don't feel they're bullshitting their audience quite enough...or are around someone whose level of intellect is perceived as superior to theirs (read: a threat) they 'borrow' buzz words, or other 'impressive' vernacular from elsewhere and start throwing it out in conversation...that is where they get into trouble. They either use the word in the wrong context, mispronounce it or repeat the word or phrase too often in a conversation. Then they come across as the phony they truly are to people from whom they are asking trust and stewardship of millions of dollars of their corporate health & welfare funds. Fools! Narcs rarely fail that test. One of my pet peeves is people who use corporate lingo in conversations...it drives me nuts - because I feel as if they are very insincere and superficial people...they don't engender trust, because their very method of communication is something they took from someone else and it's not genuine. they aren't communicating with you as an individual...they are looking at and treating you as a thing. "At the end of the day...." "Next steps" "let's take this off-line..."...I want to gag!
Oct 16 - 11AM
peanutbutterfrogs
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Oh my...

Not even going there. As soon as I do, I will commit every typo and grammar mistake there is.. *chuckling quietly* :D
Oct 16 - 11AM
ordinarycourage
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That's Hilarious

Maybe you should implement a vocabulary "reduction" program!
Oct 16 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Syren66 (not verified)
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ROFL...I also noticed that

ROFL...I also noticed that this trait of destroying the language isn't limited to business situations...my xN, who loved how "intelligent and well-spoken I am"...would try to communicate in a more 'educated' manner with me. I don't talk to people the way I do to intimidate anyone or to make them feel stupid...it's just my manner of speaking since childhood. So he would CONSTANTLY use the word "implicate" in sentences where the word "implement" should be used. I never corrected him, exactly because I didn't want him to feel like I was being condescending to or critical of him. When I left him, though...I made sure to point out that he'd been using the wrong word for 7 years not only in front of me, but in front of many others! Peace out, asshole! :D OH!!!! Let's play "Combine the Narcs"!!! "Well, you can save money by installing wellness programs...for instance, you can IMPLICATE a smoking SENSATION program"
Oct 17 - 1AM (Reply to #11)
onthewayout
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Testerome.

Need I say more? :) Women have estrogen, men have...
Oct 16 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
Unfreakinreal
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My favorite...

Not only did he always spell truly as "trully", but he ALWAYS messed up the words to songs that he claimed he loved. Watching him sing looked like he was always on a 6 second time delay.
Oct 16 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
Syren66 (not verified)
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"Watching him sing looked

"Watching him sing looked like he was always on a 6 second time delay." hahahaha! Him singing the lyrics to 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida' had to be a special treat then! In a short bus riding, helmet wearing kind of way!
Oct 16 - 5PM (Reply to #10)
Tigerlily
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Mine always looked as if her were in pain when he sang.

And he sounded as if he were in pain, too. Maybe he was just mirroring that everone else was in pain when he sang. Heh heh heh. Tigerlily
Oct 16 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Unfreakinreal
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Seriously.

Who fucks up the words to "Living on a Prayer"? He should stick to Dave Matthews... At least I didn't know any of his songs so it wasn't as painful as listening to him butcher anything I liked. Do yourself a favor, Chief, leave the Metallica lyrics alone.
Oct 16 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
Syren66 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Bob Dylan

Cause nobody understands what that motherfucker is saying...or singing. Impossible to mess up the lyrics.
Oct 16 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
into the light
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My ex N was very articulate

My ex N was very articulate and creative with language - I used to admire how confident he was when he spoke. But quite early on he used to send me texts using 'horny' wrongly. Eg 'You look so good, so horny' or 'You are horny'. I said, how do you know how I'm feeling? He said, 'Well horny just means sexy - you look sexy'. I told him, no, it means turned on. Well, he hated that. I must have given him one of those injuries they pay you back for weeks or months later. And the funny thing is, he must have been using that as one of his lines on women for years and no one told him about it!
Oct 18 - 11PM (Reply to #9)
foreverfun1
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into the light

LMAO! I loved this one! what an idiot. lol you also reminded me though of how mine would pay me back weeks later for some small thing i said, sickos
Oct 16 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
Syren66 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

lmao!! That almost comes

lmao!! That almost comes across like some eastern European dude who's just learning English! Like those two Yugoslavian brothers on Saturday Night Live played by Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd. Narcs are articulate...as long as they stay away from the big words...like "love".