Lovely1's Story

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#1 Jul 9 - 6AM
Lovely1
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Lovely1's Story

My Borderline/Narcissist affair is over; but which one is he....?

Ive now tried to write my story 3 times and I cant seem to do it...its quite painful writing things and reading the stark reality on a white screen.

The point of my update is that my Ex, of now 2 weeks, oh so painful but oh so necessary, is both a borderline and narcissit. On a continuum, he fits in the middle, not so vicious as a narc but now so lowly as a borderline. Perfect pair.

In brief:

He used to get so down that I never provided enough love (he hurt me, I was hiding behind barriers)

He would lie and be repentant when I found out

He would hit lows and then come up again

He did have empathy and feeling and really believed that he had found "the one".

He tried to initially buy my love and bring on the charm.
I called him a pathological liar, he wasnt agreeing to this.

I also advised him he was a borderline, he was also not happy with that.

He thought he was beyond smart and better than people.

He used to refer to life as it would be in the movies.

He would make nasty comments, Jekyll and Hyde personality and then apologise saying he was only reacting to being hurt by me.

He would say he did eveything for me and would enmesh into my life, like we were one. I advised him we were 2, but no, he was adamant that we were one.

He was very hyper sexual, sex brought intimacy and solved issues.

He was not happy that I, unlike other gfs, didnt appear to desire him (sexually) abd never initiated anything.

He would tell me that I am differnt to his other gfs.

He was always put on a pedestal with other gfs but not with me. I was on the pedestal yet I alwas felt like crap. Go figure.

He would say that " noone will love you more than me" and that ppl would cheat on me, but that he would not. He would say that missionary sex was boring, but then claim that he was having the best sex of his life.

I always said that I wasnt emotionally fulfilled and he never understood why. I was never really happy and I couldnt always place why, besides the fact that he lied and betrayed me oh so many times.

I kept wanting to leave, and I did 2 times but he came back. After my other numerous efforts to go, he recently realised that he wouldnt be happy, that Im selfish and neglectful and dont know how to love, so he let me go.

I left because I dont trust him, he has a rship with his ex that I find creepy, he is a liar, my body tells me he is bad but at the same time, it hurts to let go what I thought was possibly going to work.

Funny thing is, EVERYONE, even ppl who hadnt met him but heard the story, told me to go. I didnt go. Until now.

So hearing the part narc, part borderline story, which is he?
He is sensitive and cries and is hurt by my lack of love yet he thinks he's all that and more, has a good career and thinks he deserves better.

Jul 10 - 4AM
Lovely1
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Indeed I've tried to fix,

Jul 10 - 5AM (Reply to #3)
indenial
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It's perfectly normal to wish things are different

Jul 10 - 5AM (Reply to #4)
Lovely1
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Scary that you sound exactly

Jul 10 - 5AM (Reply to #5)
indenial
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So validating

Jul 10 - 5AM (Reply to #6)
Lovely1
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Helps hearing others stories

Jul 10 - 6AM (Reply to #7)
indenial
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Mine went on more than 3 years

Jul 10 - 7AM (Reply to #8)
Lovely1
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Stole me from another..,,

Jul 10 - 10AM (Reply to #9)
indenial
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Lovely 1

Jul 10 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
Lovely1
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Lol. Close enough it appears.

Jul 9 - 7AM
indenial
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I think it's not uncommon