Looking Into The Mind of A Narcissist

I found the post below at another forum called Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. I thought it was a really accurate, great description of a narc, and the author (Had enough9) was kind enough to give me permission to post it for you guys. The original post is located at:

http://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/t14776#post141497.

Looking Into The Mind of A Narcissist
Narcissists live in a world focused on jealousy, resentment, anger, dissatisfaction and a constant need to have power over others. They have to maintain a false mask 24/7 in order to live in society. If they let their guard down, the mask slips. They live in a constant need of attention and searching for outside sources to make them feel better about themselves.

They cannot accept love. They despise the person who loves them.

They HAVE to have approval and attention from others, even though they resent and despise the others who are giving them the attention. They have to have constant reinforcement that they are "The Best".

Most often, if they do land in a committed relationship, they cannot accept the "love" they are given. They live in chaos and turmoil. Their spouses are upset, angry and begin to hate them when they realize the narcissist is not what they first thought they were. As the narcissist denies the spouse their right to having needs and feelings, he resents them for whining and blaming him/her for not being there for them.

The Narcissist lives in a State of despising the spouse, and wanting to get away from the spouse, yet needing them for narcissistic source. This creates more chaos in their minds and feelings. A push-pull of need develops in the narcissist. He will need to push the partner away, yet need the person for NS at the same time.

They feel their best at the beginning of a "relationship" with new source. They will spot someone who has something to offer they think they need.

They become obsessively "hungry" for what their source has to offer, and they want to "feed" off of it immediately. They will see some fresh, successful, and beautiful someone who will enhance their feelings about themselves. They are the greatest aren't they? They are entitled to having "the best".

This person makes them feel happy. They have to have him or her. They need to mirror what this person needs in order to have this source. This is their chance at happiness. They crave what this person can give them.

They bait their hooks with promises, with mirroring the source object's desires and likes. They will become what the source objects need in order to have them.

When the new NS object commits and moves in with the narcissist, the narcissist quickly begins to resent the needs and demands the object has. They see the object as demanding, needy and flawed. They are filled with resentment that this person is asking anything of them. This person is only there to serve them. How dare this person ask this or that of them? This object isn't the pure perfect object they thought. They resent any demands from the person, and begin to put as much distance as they can from this person.

At the same time, they still need to feed. They begin to look for a new object who perhaps will be "The One" this time.

Hugs,
Had enoug9