Littleone's story

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#1 Jun 2 - 8AM
Littleone's picture

Littleone's story

Where do I begin?

Firstly let me clarify I believe mine is mostly sociopathic with narcissistic tendencies...

I met mine on an internet dating site 2 weeks after I had separated from a long term relationship.
He was only meant to be a one night stand.

I was 23 when I met him, as was he. He was everything opposite of my ex, fun, charming, exciting, thrilling and lived life on a whim.
I had so much fun in the beginning and although he was very immature and irresponsible, I learned to adapt to it because I loved him.
He promised me the world and then some, we moved into together very quickly and he made me feel deeply loved and cared for. I was on cloud 10 and thought I'd found my soulmate.
He made me feel that his love was unconditional, he would always be by my side forever.
I became a real party girl because that went along with his lifestyle and met his approval.
My work started to suffer and very soon my small business went under.

Soon things started to change and something ugly creeped into our relationship. He started picking on lots of little things about me. I couldn't understand it, I was in love and at the time he had no faults to me.
I started feeling really strange about things but I ignored my instincts. Suppressing my feelings made me deeply depressed and unhappy and of course the spath/narc blamed me and said there was something mentally wrong with me.
I believed him so I went to my family doctor and easily obtained some antidepressants. I obtained them easily because I had anorexia and depression in the past.
The medication made me mellow and his little critisms stopped bothering me.

He started calling me fat several times a day despite me being a personal trainer and aerobics instructor. So I started working out 6 x a week for 2hrs and dieting heavily. I lost a lot of weight and was in amazing shape but still the names kept coming..,

Fast forward a couple of years and skipping a lot of the drama...

We decided to try for a baby. His idea not mine.
We got pregnant in 2 weeks flat.
Things made a turn for the worse as soon as I was pregnant, he was increasingly rough with me and called me more names than ever before.
We did get engaged when I was 5 months along, again his idea not mine.
When I went into labor he made fun of the noises I made in my pain and was not supportive in any way. I ended up having a C section and therefore required help with everyday things because I'd had major surgery + I had a newborn! He went back to work the day after I got home despite the strict instructions from my doctor.

I had a baby with reflux who would not sleep for longer than 20 mins at a time and I was getting no help whatsoever from him so I wasn't coping very well.
The spath started telling my family and everyone around us that I had postnatal depression, but I didn't! I just needed some help at home! Anything!

I soon settled into the swing of being a mother despite the lack of interest from the spath. But very soon a pattern began emerging in every interaction he would have with the baby.
He threw him in the air at 3 weeks of age laughing the whole time, was extremely rough with him, liked to scare him and make him cry.
Fed him foods to make him choke and said disturbing sexual innuendos about the baby. This is just skimming the surface but I'd be here all night if I listed everything down...

Money started going missing and despite him earning a very good wage, there was never any money to buy the baby food or clothing, I had to rely on family.
He was continuing to do his illegal activities and that brought in thousands of dollars as well..
He took away my savings card which had our baby benefits payments on it.
I never had any petrol in my car or two coins to my name, he took everything.
There was never enough money for mine or the babies needs, yet there was always money for his beer and his cigarettes.
He drank all day on his days off and would barely acknowledge the baby or me, unless he wanted me to get him another beer from the fridge.
He had s terrible temper and would fly into a rage at the smallest comment or question of him.
He has never hit me but I've been shoved, held against my will and held up by the throat.

I would often ask him- where has my old 'his name' gone? He would always answer, I've always been like this, you just never saw it..

He lied about everything and I mean EVERYTHING, even the littlest things that he really would have no reason to lie about. On catching him out on one of his stupid lies, I questioned him why he lied. He couldn't answer, he said he didn't know why he did it, he just did.
He enjoyed humiliating me in public and liked to trip me over in shopping centers. This behaviour stayed the same when I was pregnant and also when I was holding the baby.
He also liked to call me and my infant son two fat losers.

He would yell at me if I cried and hated any weakness and oh I forgot to mention his dad passed away and he cried once in a big dramatic scene but then did not go through a mourning period at all...

I became very sick with the flu one day and begged him to take a sick day to help me out. I got yelled at and called a stupid fat ballbreaking whore. His nickname for me was 'ballbreaker' because I was apparently extremely difficult according to him.
He walked out on me the next night in the middle of the night. I was still extremely sick. He left me to fend for myself and the baby, telling me he didn't love me anymore.

He tried to come back two days later saying he loved me and couldn't live without me and did want to marry me in 9 months. (I forgot to mention we were planning our wedding ). I wouldn't let him come back.
He had stupidly left $5000 of dirty money in the house so I used it to clear some of the debts he had amounted in my name.
He found out and flipped out.
I left to stay with my parents because I was still very sick and needed help with the baby. I left with only a bag of clothes for us.
He moved back in the house and banned me from going there. The house is in his name so ge threatened to call the police If I trespassed to get my things.
He wouldn't give me any of my things or what I needed for the baby NOTHING!!

With police permission I went there when he wasn't home and took everything that was mine and the babies. He had dumped everything in a room like it was trash, including my baby's things :(

He flipped out of course.

Now heis getting supervised visits only with the baby. He is playing the victim to everyone we know and is succeeding. My name has been blackened.
He is pretending that he is a good father and is pushing to take the baby unsupervised.

I have no choice but to fight for the safety of my baby. And it is the fight of my life.

He claims to be a devoted father yet he has cancelled visits with poor excuses several times.

At the moment my baby is making things easy for me, everytime he has a visit with his father he cries immensely and gets very distraught. It's almost like he knows what his dad is.

This is not even half of my story of what has been done to me or my child. I'd be here all night if I wrote it all... It's true, writing ones story does help, it snaps me back into the reality of what a precarious situation I was in.

"do not look at my scars and pity me, look at my scars and see what I have overcome" -anon

Jun 2 - 8AM
Hunter's picture

You are a strong woman! This

You are a strong woman! This guy is criminal! Welcome Hunter