Life after a Narc relationship

I joined the site to let everyone know there is life after a Narcissistic relation ship.

I am a year out of a 15 year struggle. My Narc was charm itself, when we met, I ended up in a remote location, a gilded prison, a grandiose house, with cows for company, a child and barely enough money for a baby sitter or petrol, he spent his days at Michelin starred restaurants, in his Bentley and Saville Row suit.

When we met despite his story he was broke, but the princess financed the prince. He was a high functioning Narc, bright and great with people (read massively manipulative), keeping close those who agreed with him. I looked after his older children and picked up the pieces covering his tracks, a classic co dependant.

He died, then the truth emerged, the 3 other current long term women, all co dependant, plus the ones he was grooming and the ones he had missed, the £8 million of debt, (he went bankrupt post mortem) some of which I have to deal with, including possible losing my home, that I had paid for.

One of his victims he had picked up at her mothers funeral, she has lost her house, (she is a nurse) and still has £8,000 of credit card debts because of him, and still thinks he is great, she was with him for 6 years!

I kept breathing, and eventually came up for air, I have the befit of friends in the same situation, who have helped me, and a year on, I still have mountains to climb, but I have re-establish a business, and the best bit is I am happier than I have been for years. Life is good, fun, I feel supported and I even have a new relationship. My daughter is doing well and the big boys are getting through it.

My message would be to run as far and as fast as you can, it will get better. Take a hard long look at yourself and ask why you let it happen, you have a responsibility in this to, if only so you never let it happen again. Trust yourself, I bet you knew it was 'wrong' somewhere inside you, but every time he turned on the charm.

Take extra care of the children as he will use and abuse them as well. I am lucky the only decent thing he did was die, I don't have to deal with him any more!.
From the Ashes