librarygoddess Story

I'm not even sure if belong with this group; I suspect I do, but right now I am confused. I will try to keep this short. Just need to get it all out...\

I met what seemed to be a very nice man back in September. I have been widowed for several years and was seriously beginning to want a new relationship.

Anyhow, this guy doesn't totally fit the Narc model. He got in touch with me through a dating site and we had a lot in common. He certainly fit the description of charming, gregarious, successful, very self-confident and on and on. He never, however, put me on a pedestal and then brought me down. Almost from the start, he was sort of lukewarm in a way and then would pursue me. The whole relationship was on/off...with three "I don't want a long term relationship with you" breakups, with him coming back within weeks. This time, he was actually living here....he moved in while my roomate was out of town for 6 weeks. He never brought any food while here, in fact, I don't think he ever paid for any of our restaurant meals, movies etc....well, maybe twice. He left dirty dishes in sink and generally freeloaded off me. You get the picture...I cooked and cleaned and provided support for him. He is unemployed currently and fighting to get a settlement from work. I have given him money and also supported him through a difficult process. Sex was only when he wanted it otherwise he ignored my needs. Actually, sex was for him; he made little effort to please me. He went through a box of old photographs of mine one day while I was out....what an invasion of privacy. I finally just said..."get out". I could tell he was getting ready to disappear again anyway.

I don't want to go on here...I do not think he will be back this time. I believe he's already moved on...back to a woman he was seeing before me. In the days before I asked him to leave, he was on his facebook chat A LOT and would close his laptop when I came into the room....

Anyway, I am severely, severely depressed. In my head, I believe he didn't want to be with me because he could see what a loser I am. I guess that is why I put up with the treatment in the first place. I believe that once any man finds out about the real me...he will not want me.

'nough. Best to all on here. Librarygoddess.