Today is my day 1 of NC. Here is my story: I have known my NP for about three years now. But I didn't start a relationship (or let me be honest here, an affair) with him until 8 months ago. He is a classic narcissist because get this - he is a teacher. I'm not going to say what kind lest he get figured out, but I'll just say that he doesn't work in a school, all of the women he comes across are of age, and he is constantly exposed to lots of women. Oh, and he's married. I have never before compromised myself, my values, or humiliated a wife on account of a person who is so rotten I stop myself from even saying his name. I saw him openly flirt with women, have a long-standing affair with one student, while he was inappropriate with me and overtly hit on me for years. There were a few female students who up and left his place of business when he did such things - not me (something I must look at). He is not much to look at (he's very short and has self-esteem issues, which I believe is why he's a narcissist and needs so much supply) but his sexual energy is palpable, intoxicating. I kept thinking a line wouldn't be crossed. But on several different occasions he came onto me so strong that it felt like a violation (hugging me and trying to kiss me when I told him I wasn't interested). And one night, it just happened. I felt like I was in a black hole, it sucked me up and wouldn't let me go. I had never before been the OW. It was lonely, awful, toxic. Several times I tried to end things over the course of the next few months, but he just wouldn't let me go. About four months ago I found out about another student he was having an affair with, simultaneously, while with me. It felt like someone had thrown a cinder block at me. I went into crazy mode. I called her up, and she confirmed what he had told me (what he said was of course nowhere near the reality of their relationship). I vowed to get back at him. I blocked his number but he barraged me with a slew of emails. Lie after lie after lie. It was during that time that the other girl and I came to realize he was a sociopath. If you see the way he flagrantly flaunts the women he's involved with around his wife, you will realize in a second what I mean. He has absolutely no conscience. He also has a daughter and brings his OW around her as well. He's a real catch, this NP.
So I end things with him. And in the meantime, he's harassing the other student so much that she gets a restraining order against him. I try to regain my sanity but I also feel so betrayed I want to shut his place of business down. But eventually I realize my best revenge is a good life. So I implement NC (I realized without realizing he's a narcissist that any form of communication with him was toxic) stop attending his classes, block him on Facebook, all of his email addresses, etc. And as much as he tells me that he will leave me alone and respect my wishes, he continually stops by my apartment, the first time was on his birthday, then about 6 times thereafter. Several people have advised me to get a restraining order against him, but I just can't bring myself to. But I've ended it for the last time, and today I finally burned the little notes and holiday card he gave me, as well as deleted or destroyed all other reminders of him, including every single email he's sent me. It was sad yet purifying for me.
I'm dreading that he will stop by tonight. And even before I came to this forum I realize that NC drives him nuts. To the point where he will call me from restricted numbers (I never answer and immediately delete his voicemails without listening) or he makes up new email addresses to email me angry messages.
But NC is the only way to sanity for me. Thanks for letting me share.