Let's have a little more fun

My ex's underwear throughout the entire 22 years of being involved with him had to be dumped because of the skid marks as his "tummy" problems always got the better of him. He was always on the loo. Now realise IBS brought on by his nervousness of his lies, deception and who knows what else. Must have cost him a fortune in underwear and embarrassment but, do I care? Whaaaatever girlfriend! Dee x

The ex-Psych prof idolized Leo Tolstoy. I got myself a copy of Sofia Tolstoy's diaries. She talks about how the few times she felt like she REALLY loved Leo (he was a major Narc, the epic kind) was when he was ill... and she talks A LOT about making enemas for him. I'm so glad I didn't have to administer enemas to the ex-P. The ex-P liked talking about his digestion. He was very self-conscious about the bathroom. Once, I walked by the men's room, the door swung open, he was "caught in the act",and he had a deer in the headlights look. Sheesh. It wasn't like I was looking down yonder.

the N potty memories.... The evil one always left the door open as he sat on his throne....even with his 2 young daughters in the house. Never understood how it was fine for him to sit naked on the shitter with his junk hanging out but he reamed me a new ass for walking around in front of his daughters in my night gown. He also used to take the TP and neatly fold it up before applying to his precious ass. I was informed when he saw me simply wad up the paper to wipe that I was *doing it wrong*....amazing....40 something years of wiping myself and didn't know I was doing it wrong until I met him....go figure... in case your wondering...I still wipe wrong... : )

Mine kept me up all night farting in his sleep. One night I just got up and went home, where the air was fresh & clean!

Xnh has serious "potty" problems. lol. I've already made comments in other threads how he insisted that everyone in the house put the toilet seat lid down EVERY time because that's how his mommy does it at HER house. I went "rogue" and started leaving it up, because it's MY house, I pay the mortgage, and his mommy doesn't make the rules at my house. Xnh actually counted how many times I'd left the lid up, and then blasted me in a restaurant on Valentine's Day with the "information". What a sweetheart! Not. Another thing xnh did was try to define to me how I was only "allowed" to use two squares of toilet paper when I went to the bathroom. Excuse me!?!? I told xnh to pound sand up his butt, and I used what I wanted anyway. My toilet habits are NONE of xnh's business. I own the toilet, AND I buy the toilet paper. He also tried to specify which brands of toilet paper were "allowed" on the spindle (we surely wouldn't want his royal, little asshole to get chapped or anything because *I* bought the "cheap stuff". rofl). Xnh's control issues with all of this gave me the huge desire to flush the entire roll down the toilet every time I peed, and then scream for HIM to come unplug the toilet. We'd just SEE how big a difference the "quality" made coming back up. I didn't simply because I respect my toilet more than to abuse it that way. lol. In addition to all of this, xnh would go immediately into the bathroom after every meal, and also, right before we needed to leave for somewhere with a deadline (control issue). He knew this would keep everyone waiting while we all suffered after the meal trying not to pee/poop our own pants, or he made us late leaving for the appointment. What a feeling of control for him! We all stand around waiting while the narc poops! Xnh would sit in the bathroom frequently for a half hour or more. Even his youngest daughter started making comments about, "Well, there goes Daddy into the bathroom again, and it looks like he's taking camping gear so he can stay awhile." When xnh finally did come out of the bathroom, the smell could have taken the Spackle off the ceiling. It would just about take a fumigation crew to make the room "usable" again. lol. However, just let me crack off one little fart, and xnh would go into a rage about how "rude" I am. If, I happened to be alone in the house after xnh did one of his long, extended sojourns with the toilet, he would parade around with his pants off, and a huge red ring around his butt from sitting on the toilet seat for so long. Usually xnh would make "romantic overtures" to me (meaning he would swing his dick around in circles and squint his eyes at me trying act all coy) while his bare butt and his "junk" was hanging out pant-less. Xnh actually would tell me, "I KNOW you wouldn't want to miss an 'opportunity'." lol. Then he would get angry when I told him that I did not find the "ring around his butt hole", and the "fragrance" of his very recent poop still lingering on him, to be particularly sexy. However, xnh, with his typical narc attitude, seemed to think he was one of the sexual Wonders Of The World despite those two severe "handicaps" currently occurring. Personally, I didn't find the thought of having sex with Old Ring Around The Butt while breathing in the heady aroma of Au De Shit nearly as attractive as xnh seemed to think he was. rofl.

even about his poops! Would pretend he hadn't farted in bed. We already had a toilet paper thread...he would only use one brand and traveled with his own roll if he went to a hotel...He had no interest in me, my life, business, or my shopping habits ever, except to know if I got a good price on a 12-pack of toilet paper!!! And here is the crazy part: I discussed the deal I got with him!

he fell asleep in the shared dorm bathroom cause he did not want to admit he drove in the chicago snow to visit his girlfriend. Mommy dropped in at the dorm because she knew he was running low on milk?????

Mine would make fun of me when i would pass some gas while on the pot with the door closed, he said it wasn't 'ladylike',nutcase, but for me he would leave the door open when I was there and the noise would wake up the neighbors, NO JOKE, but that was OK, he always had double standards, ASS..........................

I arrived at Narc's house having been on the road for hours and needing to use the loo urgently. I rush in there, toilet seat is up as usual, and the smell, oh dear! Toilet's been used and hasn't been flushed. Holding my breath I lean over to do so, when Narc brushes past me, flushes and says "I couldn't have known you'd be early, could I? When I'm home alone I do not flush each time I use the loo. Water costs money and as you well know I've been unemployed for over a month." Sure, I knew he got himself fired again. Only when he works he makes more in a week than I earn in a month.

I am so laughing right now! You guys can be hilarious. And ruthless. It's nice when we've been away for long enough to look back and joke about some of the nonsense. Btw, the exwn must have had a miraculous healing fo the "cancer", as she called my daughter last night to chew her for having posted about it on f/b. What an assbite witchclown! I'm glad I pray sometimes so that I can feel comfortable giving the exwn to God over and over every time I get irritated. ds

My N: Lays a giant one in the toilet then doesn't flush. On purpose. Skid marks galore in his undies. SO GROSS. Farts like a wildman in the bathroom. I've never known anyone with such explosive farts & poop. The toilet is always filthy from his explosions. If I don't scrub the toilets it never gets done. So I have to clean his S#!+ up all the time which is really unfair. Pooped himself recently (kid you not) and prepared to leave the house in shorts that had a stain in the buttcheek area. I had to stop him. Ugh. NEVER ever ever washes his hands. Then he touches us with hands that stink. OMG I am utterly repulsed by this man.

XN boasted all the time that he could have any woman he wanted, that women throw themselves at him all the time. It's true that some women do want to screw him because they think he's wealthy, but I bet that number would dwindle dramatically if they knew about his skid marked undies.