lady_in_dubai's story

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#1 Aug 13 - 1PM

lady_in_dubai

lady_in_dubai's story

I Escaped an Evil Man

Hi there dear ladies.I just joined the forum, thanks for having me. I have just escaped a tempestuous almost 2 year relationship. This is the third and last time and I am nervous. He has said that he will smash me if I ever upset him again and that he has to teach me a lesson as I do not appreciate how special he is. He is violent and unstable.
I based my whole life around this guy and I am living in the Middle East for my job. I hardly have any friends now as I made him my life and became very antisocial. They did not really support the relationship and didn't want to get involved.

I am far from my friends and family and in quite a vulnerable position, here in the desert. But I am determined. This is a sweet man who turned into the devil before my eyes. It's better to be alone in the desert than with such a man.

Can anyone recommend any quotes or coping strategies to help me not to go back to him? The loneliness is very painful, as I go cold turkey from him.

Thank goodness that we have this forum to share our experiences with other ladies.God bless.

#2 Aug 26 - 1AM

Auntie (not verified)

I hurt for you

I, too, alienated many friends at my N's behest. I was able to recover several of those relationships after the split, but only after enduring most of a year-long divorce and custody fight alone. You are not alone. Here's my advice...any N will do whatever they can to hurt, even destroy, you, once you are no longer of any value. Believe me, I know...my N has taken my child and my peace of mind. There is no grief greater than those two. If not for yourself, read the stories of those of us who've dealt with the grief and heart wrenching aftermath these people leave behind that you may not suffer the same fate. Blessings, sister.

#3 Aug 25 - 10AM

Chloe

Checking in

Checking in to see how you are doing?

#4 Aug 28 - 9AM (Reply to #8)

lady_in_dubai

back in the desert

Hey Chloe thanks for checking up on me, thats really good timing. Actually, pretty much thankyou to every person who writes on this forum. I just arrived back in the Middle East, it's a bit of a tricky time. But, happy to report, the time back home has helped alot. I cried and cried and just let my body settle down after being so on edge all the time. Also most helpful NO CONTACT! And this forum. It's the antidote to my magical thinking that I get from time to time when I feel lonely. I must stress that I have had to fight fight fight for this progress. Doing everything possible to get strong. I have had 3 lots of counselling and 2 doctors visits so far and more to come. I have had to limit contact with even friends who have proved to be a bit insensitive in the past, thats been a good move. Then I don't feel even more vulnerable. I am learning to become my best defender. Yep, it's hard work but I feel like I am fighting for my life. Added to the stress is the fact that I'm in a culture that has different laws about things. I have to be careful what I say. I think I can salvage my friendships, just going to relax and believe that I can rebuild that part too. It's going to take time. Everyone keep going strong, we can do it! Thanks and God bless.

#5 Aug 14 - 1PM

hurtandhurting (not verified)

Book

"Facing Love Addiction" has been very helpful-regardless of whether or not someone is love addicted.

#6 Aug 14 - 5AM

lady_in_dubai

Thankyou for the support

Thanks so much for the support. It helps give me courage. I have booked a ticket and I am going home for a while to get strong. I was just advised that it is in my best interests not to give any more details about the situation. To all ladies experiencing similar things, I wish you courage and strength. May God protect you and his angels watch over you.

#7 Aug 26 - 6AM (Reply to #5)

dolce (not verified)

lady

Whew! I was so happy to read this! I too had no friends. Not because he told me I couldnt, but somehow, my whole life revolved around meeting his needs and being hypervigilent as to where the pain would come next. Now, away from him, I am forming good friendships. I have to be careful to do it with my eyes wide open. Even women can have these traits and I am like a magnet to them. So I am keeping healthy boundaries with those types. I wish you every good thing. Good luck!

#8 Aug 13 - 3PM

tina

Worried about you

Is there no way you can go back home? You need the support of family and friends, it is very concerning that you are so far away and all alone with this evil man being the only one around. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are.

#9 Aug 13 - 3PM

Chloe

Question:

Is this man you speak of the only one there with you? Is there anyone else there that you can trust? Can you come home? If this man is violent in any way, you can not be alone with him. Narcissists typically, that's typically, do not strike out at you physically, however, when in RAGE, they sometimes get out of control and can't handle much. Some anti-social behaviors also have narcissistic traits, and in this case, the anti-social behaviored person clearly has no conscience. Narcissists have a conscience, but they do not have empathy. I can not tell you if your man has either or both, all I can tell you is to be very careful and seek out people you can go to when you feel frightened.

#10 Aug 13 - 8PM (Reply to #2)

Barbara (not verified)

start running

dubai is a very dangerous place for females to be. get yourself home - get in touch with a friend or family and have them send you a ticket and run like hell! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily "Some women can fake an orgasm. But some men can fake an entire relationship!" - Sharon Stone

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