ladies...he just wrote to me...DO NOT RESPOND

A cautionary tale after reading so much of what everyone has gone through...I just received the most insipid, self-effacing yet projecting letter in my mailbox that was delivered while I was having Thanksgiving dinner with my kids and parents...A year ago, or even a week ago, this would have moved me...NO MORE...NO CONTACT.

After reading about this, hearing your stories, investigating the truth...it all looks so different to me now. I hope he finds solace in his internet personal ads...they are gonna have to keep him warm for a very long time....or until he finds a new, live supplier. I feel so sorry for her.

This past week for me has been one of more growth and heartache than all of the other years with this person combined (believe it or not, cause they were a bitch)...I simply will not subject myself to his whim or that of anyone else ever again.

In the face of this break up I have had other guys from my past come crawling around...in no uncertain terms I have told them that I am not interested in a sexual relationship...will not be interested in one for a very long time, and that they are welcome to seek a platonic friendship if they choose. If they can, then fine...if not, then that's fine.

My ex abuser recently got himself a "pet." It is a six foot long boa constrictor with fangs and an evil temper. He sent me a photo the other day of that vile creature, with the caption that it was my kitty cat's "babysitter" (ready to choke). I have a very young cat as a pet, who literally throws herself down on the floor belly-up for affection whenever she sees someone in the room. Get the metaphor???

I am going to keep that same vulnerability inside me and expose it when it is right...with the right man...who proves himself...because I think that it is an incredibly endearing quality to have. I look at my cat and see that she is so exposed...so open and vulnerable...I am so glad that she came to us, and I am glad that she is safe. However, I will never ignore the signs of a snake again...slithering up and winding around seductively waiting to strike. I used to call my ex a "viper" to his face. It is true.

NO contact. No contact.

Thank you for this site. It has helped me tremendously. You are all in my thoughts.