1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. “La, la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

“La, la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

13 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jul 14 - 5AM
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture

“La, la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

I read the blog 'Women Can Be Narcissist As Well As Men' today... (Thanks Lisa)

This was part of the text..

"Your wife or girlfriend probably uses other tactics when you challenge her like walking out of the room, giving you the silent treatment or simply refusing to listen to you. In both cases, this is the adult control freak’s version of, “La, la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!” They believe if they ignore or stop you from speaking the truth that it doesn’t exist like a small child who closes their eyes to “make you go away.”"

Well I had to laugh because one time, My Narc husband actaully did put his fingers in his ears and bellow “La, la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

It actually cracked me up so much to remember that he did that. I was so frustrated and infuriated at the time..... But now its actaully quite comical.. these people, men and woman lead you into conflict situations and then if you have one fleck of truth or have one millametre of the strongest postion, then they just crush you by refusing to listen. It makes shudder in one way but I am sick of being sad and afraid... I decided its actaully quite funny and chose to laugh at these sad little underdevloped egotistical loosers...

Jul 14 - 4PM
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

Mine never took it so far as

Mine never took it so far as to cover his ears, but he did walk out of the room or would tell me that the conversation is over or that he isnt going to talk about it anymore. etc.

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 14 - 3PM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Earmuffs

Yes, I call it "earmuffing it." Covering their ears like that and refusing to listen just shows how childish they are. They have never grown up and never will.
Jul 14 - 4PM (Reply to #10)
Steph
Steph's picture

earmuffing it! that's

earmuffing it! that's funny. Mine would just raise his voice and say "we aren't talking about this" If that didn't work, he'd just do the next reasonable thing...call the cops.
Jul 14 - 5PM (Reply to #11)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Stayingstrong

"If that didn't work, he'd just do the next reasonable thing...call the cops." You crack me up! At least we can laugh about it now. Comic relief is so necessary! What an asshole.
Jul 14 - 6AM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

white noise

Mine said to me mine times 'Idon't hear what you are saying,when you speak i just hear noise,is all white noise to me'.....I think is degrading.....humiliating...two years later, i still have problems with that...

Aceonelady

Jul 14 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Well, my ex-P lacked nerve

When I had my ex-Psychopath professor was my freshman lab teacher (too bad I didn't have his father, a respected scientist in his own right, and saddled with a son he had to send to an institution), he lacked the nerve to tell me I was boring. No, he sent one of his young male disciples to tell me that. He would tell me that I was boring... he might've even said the "white noise" thing. Imagine, a teacher telling you, a student, is boring, and won't say why. During my senior oral exam, he spent the whole hour being fidgety. He was inattentive, and would lean back in his chair (and return with a bang, attempting lamely to get attention) He zoned out the whole time. The 2 other professors engaged with me intellectually, we had a REAL dialogue. But my ex-P... he was totally NOT THERE. One of my friends (who I contacted recently) said at the time that my ex-P's conduct was disrespectful and totally out of line. Teachers who get their kicks out of degrading and humiliating students shouldn't be teachers.
Jul 14 - 5AM
awayfromhim
awayfromhim's picture

Mine did this quite a bit in

Mine did this quite a bit in the early years of our marriage. It is proof positive of the immature, childish behavior of the N. It worked to keep me quiet. As time moved on he simply told me to shut the f**k up or did one of those actions where you fling a hand out like discarding the person talking and then he'd walk away if he didn't want to hear what I had to say. Which, of course, if what I was saying had nothing to do with him, well, it wasn't really worth hearing.
Jul 14 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture

OMG.. the hand thing.. mine did that too..

They are kids arent they.. stunted litte damaged kids.. textbook narc's some of them.... I hated that... I simply hated it... When he threw the hand out at me. like he was discarding a piece of old rubbish... It was infuriating and so utterly hurtful... I thought so little of me, of listening to what I had to say, that I am not even sure he knew how much dismissing me hurt me. It came down to simply. If he was NOT 'winning' then he was out of there.. He still does that now... become a primitive aloof ug-like cave man... the stronger I get the more aloof and rude he becomes... SAD and pathetic.. xx
Jul 14 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
awayfromhim
awayfromhim's picture

Yes, the stronger you get

Yes, the stronger you get the ruder he gets tells you something doesn't it? The N doesn't want you becoming you because then you can't be solely focused on him any longer. And the N hates it when the focus isn't strictly on him. Just keep getting stronger. For you.
Jul 14 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
happydaysahead
happydaysahead's picture

Damnnnnnnn..........

Mine would always think he knew how I felt better than I did. Everything I said that would go against the KING was called an excuse on my part. He could rant and rave at me all he wanted but the second I questioned something he said, well forget it !! I was called a drama queen and the likes !! It's like we are not allowed to have any say in the situation !!
Jul 14 - 2PM (Reply to #4)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

The King

Same here! He could rant and rave at me, call me names, falsely accuse me, but once I put my foot down (maybe once/every two months - after about 10 slights to me), he would accuse me then of bringing DRAMA into our relationship. unreal. And he always made me feel like I was the wrong and messed up one! I never accused him of anything, never raved at him, never put him down, never called him names.... all I did was say "you are hurting me" and that was being a drama queen!
Jul 14 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
better off
better off's picture

Barbie isn't supposed to

Barbie isn't supposed to complain!! Barbie is supposed to smile and say Good Job, Ken! Or back on the shelf she goes! Bad Barbie! ;P In that Mel Gibson tape, he was yelling at her for treating HIM badly (classic) and she was like, what have I ever done to you?! And he was like, you gave me a sour look!!! (OMG, you looked at me wrong!!) And then he was literally SCREAMING "you should just smile and bloooow meeeee!!!!" I thought, well that about says it all... that's how they think. As Barbara always said, we're a doll with a pulse.