kaycee's story

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#1 Mar 16 - 6PM
kaycee
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kaycee's story

Back in Aug my husband decided to stop coming home at night. He would come home in the morning, get ready for work, make his lunch, etc and then leave. He got out of work before me so he would many times be gone before I got home, other times he'd get the mysterious text and say he had to help someone with something and leave. He would then come home in the morning and start the cycle all over.

One day I found him at another woman's house, she worked at the bowling alley he frequented (he was on 2 leagues). I went to the door and when he came out he acted all innocent. We went to my vehicle and he told me that he wasn't happy and didn't think he wanted to be married to me anymore BUT insisted that they were just friends and talked about their feelings with each other.

I think it's important to mention that she was going thru a divorce and when I met him I was going thru a divorce. He then went back into her house. It was after that that I found this website and started reading about narcissists. I realized that he fit all the criteria and all the crap he had been putting me and my kids thru for years was never going to stop. Of course I didn't want him to leave, did the begging telling him I would change routine for about a month.

He then moved a lot of his stuff out of the house and would just pop in whenever he felt like it, eat my food, use my stuff. One day he forgot his phone and I looked at his text messages. They were professing their love for each other and he was calling her his future wife... same thing he did with me soon after we met. When I challenged him on this he told me that they did it on purpose so that I would get what I had coming to me for snooping. The next time it came up he said they did it on purpose to make her soon to be ex mad. He told me that I should never come into the bowling alley because everyone there thought I was a bitch and would just turn their backs on me if I did show up.

For the past several months he has been coming over regularly, getting me to go places with him; however looking back on it the places always had to be away from our town. He insisted that when they moved in together it was just to share expenses and that he had his own room. I actually started believing this.

Recently he was laid off from his job and has benn coming over crying poverty, no food, cash, gas, nothing. Stupid me went into my cupboard, frig and freezer and gave him food. I have given him cash as well. Another important thing to mention is that he left me with all the bills because everything was in my name from before we were married. I can barely make the bills, always borrowing from the next paycheck. But he still had the nerve to cry poverty to me and I was always stupid enough to come thru.

Yesterday was the last straw. While I was at work on Monday he came into my house using the excuse that he was packing up some of his stuff left here and used my computer. He made a horrible mistake, he forgot to log out of his Yahoo account. I accessed his email and found out he'd been sending naked pictures out of himself for over a year. This didn't shock me because he had cheated on me many times throughout our 6 year relationship.

One email did shock me, it was from a long lost daughter he "says" he didn't know he had. He was so quick (the first day of contact) to accept this girl as his daughter, signing his emails "Love Dad". I feel so sorry for this girl, he will hurt her and she is only 22. In one of his emails he talks about his roommate J and says that J is on Facebook all the time and she should talk to her since she will be her stepmother one day. He also refers to J as his girlfriend. I should have let it go but I texted him telling him we needed to talk. He chose to carry on our entire conversation via text. I told him I wanted the money he owed me, my house keys, and garage remote. He said he didn't have any money and would give me the other things once his stuff was out of the house. He had the nerve to say "so what did I do now?" even after I had cited all that he had done and all the lies he had told. Several times in the past months I have pleaded with him to come clean, tell me the truth about J. He looked me in the eye each and every time and said they were only friends. He would even complain about her many times when he came over.

I can't believe I was so stupid. Because of the debt he left me with I am trying to sell my house but in this market is is nearly impossible. Should I lose my house I will lose my job because I work for a small bank and good credit is a criteria for maintaining employment. I went to HR today pleading for them to evaluate my 8 years of service and please make an exception for me should I lose my house. I was told they would get back to me in a few days.

My kids and my job are all I have left. My oldest son is away at college but I have an 18 year old that is special needs. I have to take care of him, shelter him from what is going on. It is so hard. I am open to any advice, comments, support... Please.

Mar 16 - 10PM
Barbara (not verified)
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welcome kaycee

get into therapy with a TRAUMA COUNSELOR IMMEDIATELY! HIRE A LAWYER IMMEDIATELY!!! married or not you have rights here and he can't just use you like you're a free hotel! This may not be what you want to hear but you need legal & psychological help IMMEDIATELY! - PLEASE go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - PLEASE read the stories of others on SHARE YOUR STORY. This alone is one of the most validating things you can do! Far too many become completely wrapped up in their own drama... which just makes it all worse. It will also help you see the pattern of their INCURABLE PATHOLOGY. - PLEASE read through our WHOLE blog: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog - chock full of articles about Ns and healing Please read all the Rules prior to posting, as well - listen to our free radio show - archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim Remember this board is NEVER to be used as a replacement for therapy. Please find a therapist and start going as SOON as possible for whatever level of PTSD he's left you with!! Get to a PTSD/ trauma counselor ASAP... Healing takes a MINIMUM of 18 months (with TOTAL NC) and you will need support & help from a professional. Please get it ASAP. Do not date before 18 months has passed! KEEP THIS SOUL SUCKING, NON HUMAN PREDATOR OUT OF YOUR LIFE. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims