Just wanna be happy

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#1 Oct 31 - 11PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Just wanna be happy

This is a new Leona Lewis song I downloaded tonight.... IDK... Kinda reminded me of what I am fighting for. I don't want to just continue to do what I am doing... hiding in the safety of my house... not living bc of what he did to me. I want to be better...For me, for future love, for happiness. Here are the lyrics if anyone is interested:

Happy By Leona Lewis

Someone once told me
that you have to choose
whether you win or lose
you cant have everything
dont you take chances
you might feel the pain
dont you love in vain
cause love wont set you free
i could stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
so unhappy but safe as could be

CHORUS
so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy, yea
just wanna be happy, yea

holding on tightly
just cant let it go
just tryna play my roll
slowly diasappear, oooh
well all these tears
they feel like theyre the same
just different faces, different names
get me outta here
well i can stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
pass me by

CHORUS
so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy
just wanna be happy
oooh

so any turns that i cant see
ill count a stranger on this road
but don’t say victim
dont say anythng

CHORUS
so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about all the pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy
just wanna be happy

Nov 1 - 12PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

What you think about you

What you think about you will bring about. Getting involved with a narcissist is really nasty. How are you thinking about it? How you think controls how you feel. Can you change how you think so that you can feel better? the guy was a rat but now I know about that! Write your own song about how you are a winner and he is a sinner! You just need to change your opinion about the bad experience and make it somehow positive in your mind so that you feel ok about it. If you can change that no one can get to you because you aren't rigid -you are flexible about other people's actions. If someone hurts you and you say "so what!" you won't suffer over it. Most people who go around hurting others get in big trouble eventually. he will get what he deserves up the road. Now what about you. do you want to stay sad or be glad? Develop a less rigid, right or wrong attitude, think 'well that relationship didn't work -better luck for the next one, laugh and move on'. It sounds like it would be hard to do but once you have done it a few times it is amazingly easy. The best salve for a broken heart is a good laugh.
Nov 1 - 12AM
Jessika (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

BTW

I don't know why Leona Lewis songs touch my soul so much ... but his the ring tone I assigned to him was "better in time"... I always knew I had to leave. I wanted to be strong... but I couldn't go. It toke his D and D for it to be over. I dont think I would have ever left... I was addicted. Jess (Having a hard and sleepless night)
Nov 1 - 5AM (Reply to #8)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I dont think I would have ever left... I was addicted

your not the only one, same here. but you were brainwashed remember that, trauma bonding comes to mind too, he broke the spell by D&D and we better thank God above they did
Nov 1 - 12AM (Reply to #2)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Hey Jess, I like those

Hey Jess, I like those lyrics that you posted. I am like you I would have never left either...I stood by XN thru everything...and look where it got me...D&D and cut off forever...hurting worse than i did after the first D&D. My ring tone for XN was 'out of touch' by hall and oates. I got sick of hearing it so I switched him to the main ringtone. Now I put it back to 'out of touch' Im sorry you are having a tough nite..Ive been struggling more lately too. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Nov 1 - 3AM (Reply to #3)
Ellen
Ellen's picture

Nor would I

Hi Jessika and Destiny, I wouldn't have left either. I find that really scarey cos it makes me wonder how much i would've taken.
Nov 1 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
Hoping2Heal (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

me either

I didnt leave even after it got physical. I risked losing my kids and still wouldnt have left and YES my kids are my world but somehow I was convinced I couldnt live without him. I too was addicted. Has anyone here read the book facing love adiction by Pia Mellody? Good book. Totally helped me and sometimes I find myself re reading it. I also got up the courage to go to a local womens only SLAA (sex and love addicts annonymous)While I'm not addicted to sex I am addicted to him and want to stop the pattern of looking for men to rec=scue or to rescue me. Stop being attracted to emotionally unavailable men. Anyway if he wouldnt have left neither would I and I know I would not have my kids. He has done me a favor. Also I wanted to mention something my preacher said. He said people have to act their way into a feeling. Act like you are ok and you will be OK. Act like you dont care (nc no stalking etc) and you will stop caring. In other words FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT
Nov 1 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
Jessika (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Hmmm I guess I was not

the only one who was going to endure and stay no matter what. Here is the video to that song, btw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D8POSR-kdo It shows here kinda imagining that she is connected to a man... but in actuality it is all in her head. She is imagining a beautiful relationship, however he is connected to someone else... marrying someone else. Still... she watches that and determines that she is going to be strong... love herself and keep her goal of being happy and finding a good person. (At least that is how I interpreted it). LOL... I think I like Leona Lewis bc we look a bit similar.. I have black hair though (LOL... is that arrogant?!?!- he he). Jess
Nov 1 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
better off
better off's picture

Nothing Is Good Enough

Aimee Mann was the lead singer for Til Tuesday. She clearly knows narcissists. Nothing Is Good Enough http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B80L-tbXnEA&NR=1 Once upon a time is how it always goes but I'll make it brief what was started out with such excitement now I'd gladly end end with relief in what now has become a familiar motif: That nothing is good enough for people like you who have to have someone take the fall and something to sabotage-- determined to lose it all Critics at their worst could never criticize the way that you do no, there's no one else, I find, to undermine or dash a hope quite like you and you do it so casually, too Cause nothing is good enough for people like you who have to have someone take the fall and something to sabotage-- determined to lose it all Ladies and gentlemen-- here's exhibit A didn't I try again? And did the effort pay? Wouldn't a smarter man simply walk away? It doesn't really help that you can never say what you're looking for but you'll know it when you hear it, know it when you see it walk through the door So you say-- so you've said many times before But nothing is good enough for people like you who have to have someone take the fall and something to sabotage-- determined to lose it all Also listen to Calling It Quits, You Stupid Thing, or many of her other songs.
Nov 1 - 5PM (Reply to #7)
Jessika (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Better Off

she summarized it perfectly... loved that song! Thanks