Just venting...NC very hard

Hi all...so almost a week after the Ns GF contact me, I initially felt strong about NC. But for two days now I have been wanting to break NC. My friend, who is dating an N, had a fall-out with him at same time my N discarded me. They just reconnected other day Nd she is on cloud nine. And I frustrated because I wanted to feel that way too. And I actually wanted to text him a simple hello, just to let try and keep the lines of communication open. Why would I even consider this? I blame it on the PMS. And I am proud of myself that I haven't broke NC. But I feel vulnerable because I even considered contacting him. Could it be because I feel my friends situation triggered me? I am at that point that the reality of never hearing from him again or never contacting him again is setting in. And I said to myself, what would a simple hello text to N do? How bad could it be? BUT then i feel sad because I know how bad breaking NC really is and that I can NEVER , EVER contact him. Thanks for listening. All of you are in my prayers. Thank you for listening