Just got hoovered- at least, I think?

I have to admit that there is still a part of me that is tempted by this. I most definately WILL NOT do anything. But there is still a part of me, albeit a small one, who wants contact with him. I want him to know how great I'm doing, my new hobbies, how much weight I've lost. But I realise that it's simply going back to an old pattern of wanting validation from him. I know the only validation will come from myself- not him. What worries me is that he will never truly go away because I have a child with him. He will always try and Hoover because we have to have a level of contact. It will always be a constant battle in my head to avoid the lure of the sociopath. He's addictive. I won't break being 'sober' of this addiction. But since his Hoover I've thought of him and dreamt of him. Which hasn't happened in sometime. I admit to certain levels of 'magical thinking'. The 'if onlys' etc. It's easier when he's being an arse. He wasn't happy with the way I looked after having our baby. He hasn't seen me in 5 months and I've lost all the baby weight- for myself- and toned up. In a way I want him to see me now because he would want me again. But then that's not love now is it? He never loved me. I know this. Don't worry everyone, these are only thoughts that I will NOT take action on. I'm just going through the confusing mix of feelings that have occurred since the Hoover. It's very hard when they Hoover like this. He's acting all sweet and caring all of a sudden- there is of course a hidden agenda. It would be a BAD idea for me to ever be alone with him. He knows he could manipulate me if he got me alone. So far I haven't allowed him to see me or talk to me since the split. I will stick to that. He is not my friend. He is my enemy. No matter what mask he puts on to hide it. I'm very lucky he didn't Hoover in the very early stages- I'm lucky I am strong enough to fight my own demons and keep him away. It's hard. But I'll do it. My survival depends on it.