"I've met the perfect woman now"

21 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Nov 19 - 9PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

"I've met the perfect woman now"

How many have heard this one? My exN told me that he had met the perfect woman. 7 months after she dumped him, again, he told me of yet another, "I've met the perfect woman, she brings out the best in me". That's what he said about the first one. The first exgf and I became friends through texting and she said, "If I brought out the best in him, I'd sure hate to see his worst!" After an argument over our daughter, he told me, "she has more class than you could ever have in a life time!" What a jerk. He knew I came from a respectable family and I was a respectable woman and mother. He just wanted (and succeeded)to make me feel bad...I don't even know why I brought that up. This was a good while back. In reality, when I think about him, I don't even know this person I'm thinking about. It's almost like, I'm talking about a stranger. 7 years of being with this man and he truly was a stranger.

Nov 22 - 11AM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

Their love of making people

Their love of making people feel badly is accompanied by their love of making people look badly. He will be dumped always. it is good that you see it so clearly not everyone does.
Nov 21 - 11PM
tasha
tasha's picture

yes

'I've me the perfect woman now'-yes they are perfect until the Narc get their hands on them. Then it's all over for them!Then they go throught the same spin cycle you did!!My XNB said 'I got a REAL woman now' same thing idiot. Only took her a month to figure hom out and leave hehehe!!
Nov 22 - 10AM (Reply to #19)
NanC (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

tasha

A month? Boy, she has no idea how lucky she is! My exN gf found him out after 7 months. He only lived with her Friday through Sunday cause, as always, he worked out of town. She would have found him out alot sooner if he lived with her full time. When he was with me, he worked in a different town. He met this girl in that town, and quit working there to work back in our town. She dumped him and he moved to a different town. He met new gf in that town, and you guessed it, he started a job in another town. I think he doesn't want to work in the same town that the gf lives in because than she'll demand more time together, plus she'll figure him out sooner. His jobs are always far enough to where it would have to be a long distance relationship.
Nov 20 - 9PM
grossot
grossot's picture

NanC

In reality, when I think about him, I don't even know this person I'm thinking about. It's almost like, I'm talking about a stranger. 7 years of being with this man and he truly was a stranger. Well said!!!! Didn't your mother ever teach you don't talk to strangers?!lol Just teasin' :-) Hard when ya have a kid with these bastards, isn't it! Stop wasting your energy - The perfect woman is one who: GETS THE HELL OUT! http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview nolongercontrolled
Nov 21 - 6PM (Reply to #17)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

"The perfect woman is one

"The perfect woman is one who: GETS THE HELL OUT!" LOL!!!!
Nov 20 - 8PM
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

perfect woman indeed

Funny how I started out to be the perfect woman he professed I was, and do you know how I ended being the perfect woman? In his sick world that he sucked me into, calling me up and wanting me to talk dirty to him, leaving message saying call me later so I can tell you how much I want to f---k you, and the further and further and further we get away and heal, its amazing how ridiculous they look, you can almost envision them in their sick little world plotting and scheming who they have in their sights next to con. She has a big V on her forehead and he can smell her vulnerability a mile away and it draws him to her, that is why they call them predators, and that is why they are the perfect woman for them, the perfect woman is one who hasnt found them out that is all it amounts to
Nov 20 - 9AM
4joys4
4joys4's picture

There's truly something

There's truly something wrong with their brains!
Nov 20 - 8AM
time_to_move_on
time_to_move_on's picture

I was "perfect" too

My ex continually told me how perfect I was. I continually said, "nope, I'm not, and don't say that as one day you'll know it and it won't work out between us". I now know that he didn't mean it, but back then I thought he was buying into some fantasy that was would come crashing down when I became not perfect e.g couldn't deal with his rubbish/prop up his ego. Of course, I was the one that understood him and brought out the best in him (or so he said). While of course his ex gf was a bitch and a psycho, as were most of them. Until we were about to split up and he was telling me how nice she was and funny, and looked at me in confusion when I was ranting at him for suddenly being back in touch with her. Who'd have thought it eh?
Nov 20 - 12PM (Reply to #12)
PhoebeR
PhoebeR's picture

Same thing happened to me

When my N husband told me he did not love me and was never sure he ever did, he also mentioned this woman he met online who lives in another country. He talked about how much she understood him, how i never appreciated music the way he did and she does, how she gets him. He recently talked about how she was sick ad how worried he was about her etc. Mind you we are still married living in the same house, separate rooms, i am calling the lawyer in a few weeks. Oh did i mention he won't move out. Ugh!
Nov 20 - 3PM (Reply to #13)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

PhoebeR

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/07/04/when-narc-wont-leave-your-house and sounds like he belongs on this site: http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help
Nov 19 - 9PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

gag me

a lot of "perfect women" out there for that a**hole, aren't there? you were once the perfect woman... so were others... what happened? Guess what - it WASN'T YOU! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help
Nov 19 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

good point

I think its more, "I found the perfect new supply for me", this supply could last quite awhile infact, she was easy supply to hook and now comes the brainwashing, she is the supply of my dreams, I will be able to infiltrate her mind and she will be all mine to control after a few months of training she will be right where I want her, reliable, steady, faithful, never ending supply, THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS, at least for a couple years then I will have to go in search of another steady supply source but I always have my quickie side supplies too when needed.
Nov 20 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

"7 years of being with this

"7 years of being with this man and he truly was a stranger." Boy can I relate to that statement. And I agree - the perfect woman is only perfect as long as she is the perfectly gullible woman.
Nov 20 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
PhoebeR
PhoebeR's picture

Everyday

A stranger, so right. Everyday something triggers a memory that makes me think "wow how did i not see this" When we started dating his car was out of service, so i helped him rent one, since he at the time did not have credit. He kept it longer then i thought and did not tell me what it was going to cost. $400 later i was livid. This was our first fight, in the middle this was also the first time he told me he loved me. Odd i thought at the time, but i guess i wanted to hear it so bad that i let it slide. Something triggered that memory recently and it made me sad and angry.
Nov 21 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
NanC (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

PhoebeR

It seems like I was always helping the Narc out of some financial crisis! He always had to borrow money and he never paid it completely back. He was such a con artist! He literally lives paycheck to paycheck. Some people can't help it (especially women) but this loser makes good money. He doesn't pay rent cos he works out of town, his truck is fixing to get repod, his car (not an expensive one) is fixing to get repod, he's behind on child support. I can't figure what he does with his money. He always swore he was totally against drugs and I never saw him do any but who knows. They are such pathological liars, he could very easily be using his money on drugs. I know I would stay drugged up if I was a Narc just so I could live with myself! (lol!)
Nov 21 - 10PM (Reply to #9)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Where did the money go?

maybe prositutes?
Nov 21 - 10PM (Reply to #10)
NanC (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

No

That would take too much effort, plus, he'd have to take a bath for that! (lol!) That's one thing that was funny about him. He was either dressed up to a "T" or looked like crap.
Nov 21 - 7AM (Reply to #5)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Everyday - changing the subject

Boy! Was that changing the subject or what? Deflecting, not answering the question, whatever it is they do with smoke & mirrors? They prey on vulnerabilities & needs. Unbelievably exploitative. I think back so often to things I missed as well. I think one wants to be positive about others, especially those for whom we have some affection. It's human nature. But, when confronted with a predator, simple human kindness can set one up to be a sucker. What's hard for me to come to terms with is the extent I participated & assisted in my degradation & humiliation.
Nov 21 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

agnesmurphy

you didn't participate - you were HYPNOTIZED & MIND CONTROLLED & MANIPULATED. That's not participation, that's COERCION The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. - Gloria Steinem
Nov 21 - 4PM (Reply to #7)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

yes indeed barbara

That is in other words INTENTIONAL EMOTIONAL HARM, this wasnt done by accident as in when a normal relationship doesnt work out and both people feel bad they hurt each other this is planned and intended for the victim to suffer in the end, they have fled from so many many many relationships and discarded so many people in their lives after they hypnotize and mind control you and brainwash you we end up participating and WHY we let it go on was exactly that COERCION, gee do you ever stop of the words we use on this site, PREDATOR, ABUSE, CHEAT, LIE, SLANDER, BLACKMAIL, STEAL, MANIPULATE, EMOTIONALLY RAPE, what do all those words remind you of? Its describes a CRIMINAL and that is who we were once so in love with, it was a CRIME what these men and women (james) did to us, nothing but a act of crime. Gee if my memory recalls right dont criminals belong incarcerated? These people dont steal cars, rob homes, these people rob other people and steal other peoples lives. crimes against society very close up and personal. I wish my car would have been stolen instead of three years of my life, and even now I know I will always be changed because of this.