Its finally over

After 4 years of this man invading my life and changing me into someone I dont even know anymore his phone calls have stopped and I am free, maybe he took mercy on me and set me free because he sucked everything he could out of me and I was half dead anyway to him. I was lousy supply, I got smart, knew all his tricks, lies and lines and he ran away to narc land for fresh supply.
It’s a strange feeling I feel like someone just released me from the loony bin and said ok, your free to leave now, you did your time with the sociopath, good luck to you now.
First I need to take inventory of the damage most of which I already knew towards the end but when its over and I mean totally over, everything severed you feel a bit lost. I have no problem letting him go at this stage I have worked hard to reach that point. Maybe a better way to describe how I feel is being released from a drug rehab center because for me he was a deadly addiction. After dream man vanishes the drug starts to destroy you vs make you feel good and we want just one more hit of dream man before we walk away, but we never get him back as it was in the earlier days. Once and awhile they will throw you a bone or compliment or give you hope but the drug goes BAD and after each injection or contact you feel worse instead of better. Here is the start of a healthier life without the following:
I no longer will be used, degraded, abused, ridiculed, lied to, deceived, smeared, projected upon with their hate shifting blame to who the REAL disturbed person is. I wont ever have to hear the word masturbation again on a daily basis or be called up like some phone sex service he can pour his sick thoughts out on, by the way here is the origin of masturbationWord Origin & History

masturbation
1766, from Mod.L. masturbationem, from L. masturbatus, pp. ofmasturbari, altered (probably by influence of turbare "to stir up") from *manstuprare, from manu, abl. of manus "hand" (see manual) +stuprare "defile" (oneself), from stuprum "defilement, dishonor," related to stupere "to be stunned, stupefied" (see stupid). EarlierOnanism (q.v.). The verb masturbate is first recorded 1857. To be stunned or stupefied, how fitting that is. I thought we should all know the origin of that word since that is their true love, we never were. So what will they be doing 10 years from now?, masturbating what else.

I feel scared, weak and a bit rough around the edges but so glad my nightmare is over. I know they can resurface but that wont matter because I freed myself, I was always so scared to take that final step in fear of facing the damage he did to me and knowing I would have to fix it, the unknown. But its going to be ok because I escaped and not everyone does and now I have been given a chance for a better life.