Its all in the eyes

17 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jul 18 - 12AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Its all in the eyes

Lots have been writen about the psychopaths eyes , the dead cold stare .
My psychopath would never look into my eyes and if he did it was so uncomfortable for him i would look away . All of us would have seen the cold stare, especially at D&D time , it is about as disturbing as it gets and completely shocking .
Its a new week , lets kick it off with our Thomas Sheridan doing his impression of the psycopathic smile .. its a classic . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTjMjZaYFNE

Big love and happy Monday Scoop x

Jul 18 - 11PM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

mine went both ways

warm loving puppy eyes and cold heartless stones - depending on whether he was in control (happy warm eyes) or if I wanted something from him, like time (ice eyes)
Jul 18 - 1PM
prettypeeved
prettypeeved's picture

His eyes were sunken, cold

His eyes were sunken, cold things, but for me it was all about the first kiss. It was like he sort of pecked me as if he really didn't have the first clue what to do, and didn't want to do it either. At the time I dismissed it as nerves.
Jul 18 - 1PM (Reply to #12)
peacelily76
peacelily76's picture

Yes! The pecking thing!!

OMG yes! My ex had no clue how to kiss. He was the worst kisser. He would literally peck me with his thin lips and when I tried to ramp things up and give him a proper deep down soul kiss, it was like he fell into some sort of consumed state. It actually became one of the small ways I conquered him. Maybe we have the same ex LOL!!!
Jul 18 - 1PM (Reply to #13)
prettypeeved
prettypeeved's picture

It was downright bizarre. I

It was downright bizarre. I felt like it was the most natural thing to do at that moment, and to find that he sort of dithered and sort of didn't...really...quite..know what...to do...in some strange distracted way, and then the sudden "oh lets get it over with" peck. I was like, "Is that it?"
Jul 18 - 2PM (Reply to #15)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Eww the constant pecking on

Eww the constant pecking on the lips , mine did that , it was like he was nodding dog or something . I recon it was due to his fear of intamacy , that and the ED .. remind me again why i spent 2 years of my precious life with this freak lol .. xx
Jul 18 - 2PM (Reply to #14)
peacelily76
peacelily76's picture

Yes mam!!

Weird huh? But then we must remember we were with a toddler living in the body of an adult with stunted emotional development so an adult kiss from a person in love would be lost on them. It's really sad and we have to feel sorry for them in the end because they'll never 'get it'. xx
Jul 18 - 12PM
Journey
Journey's picture

Lol! my ex had both the stare

Lol! my ex had both the stare at times and the smirk... his lips actually curl up when he speaks normally (I thought there was something kind of malformed about his mouth) and then there was the glib condescension - like when I suspected he was seeing the first OW after we broke up and I asked him if he was. His response? "Well she is kind of cute, maybe I should ask her out..." with a self satisfied, glib air to his voice. He didn't know that I KNEW he already was seeing her. Thanks for sharing Scoop :)

Journey on...

Jul 18 - 10AM
peacelily76
peacelily76's picture

Psycho Flash

Wow! How true. Thinking about my ex, he had the strangest eyes. I cannot remember there ever being any real warmth in them. When we were going through the honeymoon phase, he used to gaze over me like a reptile that has caught prey and he used to slightly twist his head and give this horrible slight leer. I actually found it unnerving but ignored this red flag. As our relationship grew steadily worse and I was starting to call him out, his eyes started to do a very frightening thing which I have never seen any other human's eyes do. His eyes would literally flash for a split second, as if you could see his brain doing a calculation. I can only compare it to that scene in Betty Blue where she loses it and smashes a glass door with her fist (you'll know the scene) and her face shows absolute insanity. Has anyone else experienced this weird flash?
Jul 18 - 9AM
StudentOfLife
StudentOfLife's picture

Thanks for posting this, was

Thanks for posting this, was greatly validating! And Tom Sheridan was a joy to watch. Just loved his delivery of the message, AND his demonstration of the cold stare and the smirk as well, LOL! Cute. I remember that smirk very well. And so that's what psychopaths do, huh? My N may have been *worse* than a narcissist then! It's interesting. Toward the end, I was noticing that he didn't make eye contact, when telling a story or conversing with me, he'd always look off to the side, almost like an actor on stage. When he DID make eye contact it was cold and stark. Whenever i would try to get him to understand why i was feeling a certain way, or relate on an emotional level... blank stare. When he did something he knew hurt me, intentionally pressed buttons... the smirk of delight. (and then of course the denial that my perceptions were correct.) This video was so informative, and I think i am going to be watching more of Tom Sheridans videos. Will probably buy the book Puzzling People as well!
Jul 19 - 3AM (Reply to #8)
badjer
badjer's picture

His eyes also were very cold.

His eyes also were very cold. He used to insist on me watching him while we had sex and when he got angry his eyes flashed. they had a menace to them. His face was cold and hard - and they say that a personality shows in a face. Well - his did.
Jul 19 - 3AM (Reply to #6)
badjer
badjer's picture

Mine had this serene look of

Mine had this serene look of power when I was weeping in front of him, it was a curious face that I just knew, deep down, he was enjoying it on some level. When we met up again to 'reconcile', he smirked his way (grinned, even) through his apology. How could I let my guard down when he was sitting there, slouched back on the sofa, saying "I was such a wanker" with a grin on his face, to the point where I said "you seem to be revelling in your arsehole status". The grin slowly subsided and he said it was an "awkward response" because he didn't know how to behave. Bullshit. When you have devastated somebody, you don't grin. You look them in the eyes and you give them a heartfelt apology.
Jul 19 - 6AM (Reply to #7)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

That's the final D&D summed up

The ex-Psych prof spent MOST of the final D&D smiling smugly while publicly humiliating me. I'd be sobbing;instead of comforting me or apologizing (he refused to apologize, because I had "acted inappropriately"-and I was prepared to emotionally blackmail him into one, I wanted it SO BAD), he'd be either stone-faced or grinning. This was in front of his colleagues. When he was stone-face&I was sobbing, he'd coldly say "I am controlling my feelings." Of course, he gave me the whole "you are responsible for your own feelings" bit to try to release him from responsibility. He'd be berating me, lecturing me, I'd be crying, I was devastated... and he'd stand there, grinning. After the final D&D, when I met his girlfriend, I was the one lecturing him, and he snapped at me, "STOP SMILING!" I had inflicted some (intentional) narcissistic injuries, and stood there, smiling superiorly. It left him unnerved&creeped out. I even asked, "Why can't I smile? You can't tell me how to feel!" (I think I smiled even more) It's like Ns/Ps are such COWARDS they can't take their own treatment. If you insulted your N and grinned, I doubt he would've taken it well.
Jul 18 - 7AM
BadaBing
BadaBing's picture

lots of eye contact esp from

lots of eye contact esp from across the room almost like he zooms in and then approaches and attacks now he has to deal with court issues and a arrest
Jul 18 - 7AM
dabussard
dabussard's picture

Cold Stare

Oh the eyes, They should have been my biggest red flag and I ignored it... Wow!! During the honeymoon stage, mine would hardly ever make eye contact. If he did make eye contact he would look at me and he would look right thru me... One of the times, that we were split up, I was in a club with my H and one of my Gf's. He did that stare from across the room. He never stopped looking at me the whole night. At that time, I mistaked it for sexual attraction. Now, I have learned that it is all about power and control... His eyes were so empty and cold that's for sure... God, I wish I had seen this red flag among many others... I am so angry at myself for ever falling in love with him... Ewww... One other thing, everytime I spent the night with him, I could not sleep.. It was like I was in bed with the devil. I could not relax at all... He was draining to be around... I was tired all the time... Like he was sucking the life out of me... Oh the red flags...
Jul 18 - 7AM (Reply to #3)
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

I'm curious about the cold reptilian stare

I have videos of my narc - I notice his eyes dart around a lot from side to side and he seldom looks directly into the camera as if looking directly at me. I always thought his eyes looked warm and sexy (part of his false self for me?) when he looked at me. How would I know the differences? I'd like to know more about the Cold Stare.
Jul 18 - 5AM
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture

So creepy

Never saw the smirk, but totally saw the reptilian grin. And it was always during a d&d.