Thank you Hunter! I am becoming Free and Open and Alive again..
through all this darkness- I am seeing clearly my innate goodness. That I deserve with every ounce of my being- GOOD LOVE..That I should never settle for less, ever....
That all my wounds are here to propel me to a brighter tomorrow.
That kindness, nurturing and acceptance EXISTS within humanity- right here on this forum!
That one bad man does not dictate a whole.
That with every breath I take, I can choose another path- a path away from wreckage and towards the healing of my heart.
Love to you all!
Let's see:
I have a soul, I have a conscience. I have true friends, I have a future that won't have bad karma attached to it. I have a family with real loving relationships. I have integrity. I have hope. I am sober over a year. I have an internal compass that enables me not to hurt the people I love. I know between right and wrong, and I try to do what's right. I have self love and self respect. I have a god that I love and that loves me.
This is a great place to be!!!
Thanks all
Jen
Ok, here's my list:
I'm happy!
I'm healthy!
I have amazing daughters!
I've become closer with my mother and I have a terrific grandfather and uncle.
I have hope.
I have faith.
I'm good looking. (I don't mean to brag!)
I finally am great at being alone. I used to actually fear it. Now I'm thriving.
I'm going back to school! So exciting!
I'm driven, I'm a go getter, I follow through.
I'm faithful and loving and kind.
I enjoy people- something I was isolated from during this N relationship.
Thank you suggesting this!
This post just reminded me of MC Hammer lol....
.....anyone remember "MC. Hammer" and his one hit song "you can't touch this" ? hahahaha
This is a great thread....Hunter is right! Celebrate your accomplishments ladies!
Take that attention, time, praise etc you have been devoting to the N and give it back to YOURSELF, where it is deserved!
Awesome thread:)
Yeah, I am pretty awesome. LOL
I am nice, kind, loving, generous to a fault, forgiving, have real emotions that I FEEL and I love deeply and I am FAITHFUL and loyal. I am a good friend. I have a great family.
Funny how it feels when you act like the Narc and list all our awesome qualities
life will be so much better
one day
without him in it
really I am only kidding I never speak of myself this way
good suggestion to try this out
it helps with self esteem and confidence
Otherwise you'd be saying things like you're gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, a goddess, God's gift to men and not one single thing about your character. They are fluff. You aren't!
It is hard to do that list though... I was thinking the same thing. Man, this feels like narc training 101.
I do think after the ass kicking we received from our ex N's... we deserve a little self love.
I have the greatest daughter a mother could ever ask for
I'm healthy
I have great friends
I'm employed
I have a soul!
I am capable of loving someone and being loved
I'm compassionate
I'm strong
I'm honest
I have integrity
Soon I'll have my sanity too :)
But I have a soul, I know now I am a good person. I know now my heart is sincere. And no one can talk me out of that ever again.
I have woken up, and I know now what life is really about. And its not money and good looks.
I am young, he is not.
I have not many friends (anymore), but those I kept are really great. I have a great family.
I have found some sporitual connection within me, and I my kundalini is awakened, I am really grateful for that.
I have empathy, I have compassion, and I have a conscience.
I'm definately not young and neither is my ex-N. All of us will become old and there is beauty in aging. Our sick society teaches us the opposite. The most important thing is loving and being OK with ourselves, regardless of age.
What's important to me is letting go of the delusion that someone outside myself is responsible for my happiness. I gave my N that power...when he gave me crumb or two, I was happy and the rest of the time, I made myself miserable by not accepting the things I cannot change...meaning him, what he does and why he does it. Bottom line, he did not make me unhappy...I was already unhappy...otherwise I would have bailed when I saw the red flags. Happy people with good self esteem don't allow others to abuse them and stick around in hopes they will change.
I am as much responsible for my suffering as he was. Yes, he's an asshole and f'n jerk but, I stayed voluntarily. I realize that all of this is about acceptance and opposition, or, in other words, my past inability to practice those concepts. I tried to change a jerk into a nice person intead of loving and accepting him for the asshole he is. That is my issue, not his. I had no right to try and change him and to bitch and cry when it didn't happen.
Most of this is on me...not the N and not anyone else!!
Ns/Ps are skilled manipulators... think of Dr. Robert Hare, even psychopaths have pulled fast ones on him.
"I had no right to try&change him&cry when it didn't happen"-You were ABUSED. You have every right to cry&b*tch about it. Your trust&feelings were toyed with. Stop being so hard on yourself! You seem to be saying "I had no right to try to get him to treat me with human decency." Your basic rights AS A PERSON were violated... and YOU are taking the blame instead of the abuser?
"My inability to practice those concepts"-I think we assimilate A LOT of that shame that belongs on the abuser. We are willing to take responsibility, even when it's not our faults. We blame ourselves for "our inability to practice those concepts",being "responsible for our suffering"-when they PROJECT it onto us.
Blaming ourselves for their abuse adds to our suffering, and furthers the abuse.
"Happy people with good self esteem don't allow others to abuse them"-There are LOTS of happy, high self-esteem people here who were TARGETED because they were happy, with good self-esteem. Just because you have self-esteem&are happy doesn't mean you won't be abused. For an N/P, it makes you as much a ripe target as someone who's vulnerable.
Ns/Ps target OTHER PEOPLE, regardless of their self-esteem&happiness. It's because they're predators. A lion doesn't care if a wildebeest has high self-esteem or not. He simply sees lunch.
It's important to figure out why you may have stayed with a narc. Maybe there's some thing you need to clarify and heal within yourself -- I know I have a few things. But to blame yourself for being manipulated by a person basically designed to manipulate is too much. We need to cut ourselves slack on that. Narcs DO target those who have what they don't -- compassion, happiness, confidence.
"A lion doesn't care if a wildebeest has high self-esteem or not. He simply sees lunch." Perfectly stated!
1. I'm free from CharlieSheenWinning and his narc-fueled drama!
2. I am blessed with a wonderful family and true friends who always have my back.
3. I leave near the beach.
4. I have my health. Hell, that should be #1 on the list.
5. There are things that I love to do and I do them, like writing.
6. I have a great job with wonderful bosses and coworkers.
7. I always keep my sense of humor.
That's just a start. Glad to have given Hunter this idea! It's good to get the hurt, anger, rage out, but then you have to step back, take a breath, and look at the good.
Hugs to all of you.
That's so funny to see this post, Hunter, because today I was feeling a little blue and I thought, "Adoette, think of what is going well. Think of how far you've come. Maybe go to the forum and ask others to share as well." You beat me to it. :)
So, here is my top five list for the day:
1. Today I noticed the clothes on the line, blowing in the wind and thought about how beautiful they were in the sunlight. I am present in my life and comfortable in my skin.
2. I haven't cried over the dork-ball for 50 days. I know know know I am moving towards indifference.
3. I glean wisdom, knowledge, and courage from this site and this amazing community every single day.
4. I am soaking up the joys of the summer: eating fresh tomatoes, drinking coffee on my porch, visiting with friends, enjoying my family, playing and resting.
5. My head is clearer, my heart is softer, my spirit is lighter, and my eyes are brighter.
"Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger."
Thanks for the positive post, Hunter.
I have a great job, a family farm that I am working hard to keep, great friends, my best friend (my husband), and I got horses... The greatest creature that god ever created.
And, I also have barrel racing, which I absolutely love doing..
I am determined that he will not take these great things aways from me... He has NONE of the above... lol..
WHO NEEDS MEN WHEN THERE ARE HORSES!!! STUPID NARC WILL NEVER HAVE ME AGAIN!!!!
Great idea!!! Let's see....I have a great stable job, great friends and family...and I have another date tonight!!!! Let's hope he isn't a Narc.... ; )
I am greatful to have ME back! I am free! I feel love again. I have great family and friends and a good job with the best boss ever. Everyone I know is healthy right now.
I have beautiful flower and vegetable gardens. They have been therapy for me for years.
I have a warm/cool home and food to eat.
I have nothing to complain about now that I am on the mend from the narc. Life is Good!!
Thank you Hunter! I am becoming Free and Open and Alive again..
Hope
I am
Great idea!
This post just reminded me of
me too hunter, me too.
Pure Awesomness =)
But you aren't a narc
I have the greatest daughter
I dont have much to brag about either
Young, Old, Who Cares
You had NO right to be abused
I'm with you, Susan32
I'm FREE! :)
That's so funny to see this
Love It
Great idea!!! Let's see....I
I am greatful to have ME
I am greatful to have ME back!