It's 3 o'clock in the morning

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#1 Oct 11 - 9PM
Jelickuk
Jelickuk's picture

It's 3 o'clock in the morning

A response from his solicitor is on it's way to me. I don't know it's conents. I am terrified he will take our children.

They have spent 2 nights with him. My son hasn't even sent me a text despite promising.

Exnh is so plausible, mature, together, etc etc

I am here, unable to sleep, desperate for peace, hopeless.

It feels as if it's all my fault.

It's a dark dark night

He is going to win and leave me with nothing

Oct 12 - 1PM
Froglegs
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((HUG))

Don't lose hope, Jelickuk!
Oct 12 - 12AM
lillymarch
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Sorry, double post by

Sorry, double post by mistake.
Oct 12 - 12AM
lillymarch
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You are stuck in that dark

You are stuck in that dark place we all have been. Don't dwell on things it makes things seem bigger then they really are. You can do it, you always have. You will not lose your children. This is not your fault. Snap out of it. I hope that doesn't sound harsh. This is what I have to say to myself when I'm in the same place. We are here for you. You will get through this! Be strong! You are strong!
Oct 11 - 10PM
ordinarycourage
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No he won't

Jelickuk, you have got to be getting fed up with his scare tactics. I know I am angry at him for you. Kids sometimes can't follow through with promises to call, text when they are away. My girls would forget to bring their cell phone charger or just plain get tired of all the drama. Are you a meth addict or child abuser? Then he can't take your kids away. It's NOT going to happen. I used to worry about this, too. My ex requested a guardian ad litem and made a huge deal about it and yet we never used one and it was just him trying to intimidate me yet again. Narcs are bullies and cowards. Wish I could give you a hug....
Oct 11 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
Jelickuk
Jelickuk's picture

Thank you so much for your

Thank you so much for your reply. The simple truth really is just that I am desperately unhappy. I try so hard to be positive and move on but I just can't and am tired of trying. I feel old and tired and can't ever imagine being truly at peace and free of this. It just seems never-ending. I feel guilty for being so full of self pity. I am so frightened of being alone with all this. I have no family only my children. Sorry for whining
Oct 12 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
ordinarycourage
ordinarycourage's picture

no apologies necessary

You don't need to apologize. Many of us have been there and it will pass. Are you friends with any of your kid's moms? They can be a great help to you. Some will understand and be sympathetic and others will shy away and not want to listen because of their own fear. I used to force myself to call my girls when they were at their dad's house, knowing that he or his OW would answer and screen calls. What were they going to do? They would be nasty but I still got to talk to my girls and let them know I loved them and make sure they were ok. You might want to get a physical exam...stress can do a number on your hormone levels, especially the thyroid. Low thyroid levels can make you feel old, tired and depressed. That's a problem for women, anyway.
Oct 11 - 11PM (Reply to #3)
sciencegirl
sciencegirl's picture

You are not alone :)

I understand all too well. The feelings of being old, tired, guilty, scared. We have all felt that way and that is why we are here on this board...to help each other, listen and support. My soon to be exn husband has done the same things. It is correct - it is bullying and intimidation and it is difficult not to be scared - because you (and we) all know what these douchebags are capable of doing. It is also scary I think because you know that you are a "big girl" and understand his tactics and will in due time heal, but your precious children are nothing but pawns in his pathetic games to further hurt and punish you because you got out! Stay strong - your children are the lights in this world. I believe in you and am praying for you tonight.