It was The End of the World so I wore my good bra

As I approach my one year anniversary (of the sheer horror that was witnessing the 'slip' of Robo-Boy's mask) I'm finding myself very introspective. That, and I think the coming New Year is also putting me in that self-reflective place.

Most days I'm happy with my progress and grateful to God for releasing me from the NarcoPath's Bizarre Fun House of Mirrors- but in some ways I was hoping to be further along in my healing at the one year mark.

This anniversary date is offering me an opportunity to reevaluate and re-prioritize my life. Even the simple decision yesterday to wear this gorgeous bra (that no one but me would see) caused me to ask myself: "In what other (far more) significant ways do I devalue myself and hold myself back?" and, "Why do I always feel as if my life is going to begin...'one day'?"

One day when- WHAT? Everyone else's needs are fully satisfied? When the kids go off to college? When there is finally World peace? We 'empaths' tend to put everything and everyone before us- a trait that made us perfect Narc fodder.

And what about you? What desires have you put on the back burner? In what ways do you devalue yourself? Have you ever told yourself that 'one day' you'll take that class? Start painting/singing/writing again? Are you also waiting for the perfect cosmic time (perhaps a planet alignment?) to take that trip you've always dreamed of?

We found it so easy- it was second nature to contribute our efforts and gifts towards the Ex-Narcs goals. Why is it so difficult to re-focus that energy, time and money on ourselves?

I was the selfless benefactress (some would say the con-man's perfect 'mark') when it came to the needs of Robo-Boy and his twisted congregation... Why is it so painful to be as kind to myself? I need to conquer this issue of mine- here and now- or I'll be looking for a new crusade in my next relationship.

Funny to think that all this came up for me by simply tearing the tags off this beautiful brassière that I was waiting to wear for God-only-knows-what (or who)...

You see, The End of the World will eventually come for us all. It's called DEATH. I choose to start living today.