Is it just me or are any others having a hard time meeting a decent single guy post Narkville?

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#1 Oct 31 - 3PM
onwithmylife
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Is it just me or are any others having a hard time meeting a decent single guy post Narkville?

Hello, all, i am now close to 3 years out of narkville and still cannot seem to meet any decent men out there where I live, i have a job where I meet people all the time, do volunteer work i like to do, am on a few dating websites, and still cannot meet any decent man for even a friendship, what gives and even when I" do not look" ,still no one. i do not go out much at night, to like dancing as I tend to go to bed early but still,, i feel very down and discouraged, any thoughts, maybe it is the times we live in... I dunno.......

Nov 2 - 7AM
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

There don't seem to be any

There don't seem to be any decent men left. The older I get the more I realise the decent men are in relationships or married. People in bars are practically zygotes and most of the men my age are at home with their partners or kids. I also am not finding men interesting. No one has held my attention. Despite our Narcs being complete dickheads normal guys just seem like they are one dimensional. I am a pretty multifaceted character and I think that's why I liked the Narc he was fun and happy, dark and sarcastic, a mixed bag. I think a lot of us also know what we are looking for now and are more aware of people's traits which makes it ten times harder. I just feel like I'm not willing to settle into a relationship that is nothing short of amazing....why waste more time. I feel like I'm better off alone. Having to figure out someone else and gain that trust again is hard for us all.
Nov 1 - 1PM
Lisa87
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It will happen when you least expect it...

Thats what I think, or it could be right under your nose. I have dated many guys since and no sparks, but then after 3-4 dates most guys don't want to continue if there aren't any sparks (in my experience). I have met a few narcs too but the 2 decent guys that really really liked me happened to be right after a breakup with Narc boy, where I was not looking, and definitely not in the right frame of mind to get into a relationship. At the time, N was hoovering and had no idea what NPD was, so there you have it. I was messed up and confused and these guys (and me) had no idea what was up. I couldn't give either one a chance because of exN hoovering and getting back together. Really makes me mad cause I saw him the other night and I really liked him and he is now in a 7 month serious relationship with a great girl. I had my chance 3 times with him and because I was under Narc's spell, was distant and cold and confused. Learned my lesson the hard way..I wasn't ready to move on from the piece of shit narc.
Oct 31 - 4PM
ready2receive
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Scarcity

I agree....single men? where? I meet tons of men in my job and travel all over.....so few single men. But, I did just go on a date with a really decent guy and we had a great conversation- there was absolutely not one red flag - but there were no sparks either. Change of topic, though: I think "no sparks" is a good sign. I am used to tons of sparks and a rushed, intense relationship and that has always gotten me NOWHERE in the long run. He did ask me out again, and I'm going. Sparks might take a while to ignite? Maybe that's how HEALTHY relationships start? Hang in there and try to stay open to the possibility. I think eHarmony is a safer way to week out the Ns. The few N's who I've seen on there are very OBVIOUS because of the way the questions are asked. I'm starting to be able to see it in their eyes! OMG!! Save me.:)
Oct 31 - 3PM
Sparrow
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Key word: Single........it

Key word: Single........it seems all the decent guys are taken already. The throw backs are what are out there. Present company excluded (to the men on the forum). Be careful of the dating sites, narcs troll them like a child in a candy store. Don't be discouraged. It will happen! I meet a lot of men, but am not ready to date yet, nor interested. And to be honest, the ones I meet, although very nice, not for me......may be in time. Good luck! Mr. Onwithmylife IS out there some where!
Oct 31 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
smarternow
smarternow's picture

you're not single...you're free.

I haven't found a good one yet either. But today I ran into a co worker of my ex narc (another ff) who spilled his guts that his marriage of three years was on the rocks. "she put all my stuff at the end of the driveway" he wailed. With my narc savvy eyes and bruised heart I asked "what's the other side of the story?" he replied that she had been texting someone else he thought for the last six months... His biggest problem was that everyone at work knows about it, and he met her at the hospital where she is a nurse of course. So I gathered that his pride was hurt, his identity shattered. Not once did he talk about love...is he a narc too? I didn't give him a bit of info about my ex, who is his boss as those guys love to gossip. I keep sayig to friends about single men: All that seems out there is day old bread. Let's hope for both of us that's not the case!