It happened after a gun chase: How I became the friend, to the OW, to the GF to the ex

About 3 yrs ago I put an ad on craigslist looking for women who wanted to play tennis in the W4W section. I put this ad on Craigslist because my roommate just moved out to move to another city and I was feeling relief because she was also an ex-gf who stayed my roommate for an extra 1.5 year to save on rent. Anyway, I got a response from a woman around my age saying that she and her partner of 8 yrs were trying to form a group this summer (2008) to hang out at the lake and have a good time because they bought a lakehouse in my city. I was 32, she was 33, and her partner was 43. I enjoyed hanging out with them, they seemed like good people, both made really good money- they seemed like the perfect power lesbian couple "except that "C" liked to be the center of attention. I never looked at her in a sexual way because, hello, she had a partner of 8 yrs and I just wanted to enjoy my new friends and have a good time that summer.

Fast forward 3-4 months later, C and I became closer- we started to bond because her father passed away 3 yrs ago and mine died when I was almost 8. I thought she was starting to have a real friendship with me- we talked about our dogs, food, music, movies, family, both being raised catholic, traveling, everything. She started to call me all the time, I figured she was just bored, it was obvious she was needy but again, i was clueless about anything romantic, I just thought we were good friends.

I remember the first time something made me feel uncomfortable, we were all on their boat at a lake party called Splash and C cornered me (we were all drinking) and asked if I had to pick anyone from the group they created, who would I date. Mind you, all the people in their group were much older than me, had mullets, were just people I did not find attractive so of course I stupidly said "If I absolutely HAD to, someone put a gun to my head...I guess I would choose you, but you are in a relationship so it doesn't matter."

I looked to the side and saw C's partner totally staring at us...I made sure I went right to her and told her what I told her and what went down because it was weird and I didn't want her to think anything was happening. (I look back now, and realize that about a few weeks before this party, there was a lesbian speed dating, and C signed up and went with me, I didn't think at the time it was crazy that someone with a partner of 8yrs would go, I thought she was just there to give me support since I hadn't dated in like 1.5 yrs......I remember she said during a round that we should have one together, and I was so naive, I laughed and said why would i waste a round on her because she was suppose to be there as a friend.)

The next day or so, I received a call from C (the Narc) stating that she likes me, that it's weird, that she travels so much being a biopharm rep and she meets A LOT of people, and of "ALL THE PEOPLE" that she meets, she doesn't know why she is attracted to me. I told her that she must tell her partner she is going through a midlife crisis and that they probably need to go to therapy. I have never cheated on anyone and would never DREAM about being the OW with someone else, that is not right and karma is a betch!

It took about three week of C constantly telling me stories...that her partner is an alcoholic, she was flirty and out of control this summer because she is acting out she is so desperate, that her partner goes to sleep at 9 and wakes up at 6- leaving her all alone....that her partner is so controlling, they even tried to break up during the summer.....how her partner is so mean, they are basically roommates and they never got married and did the children thing because she would never go there because her partner was such an alcoholic. C made me feel so bad for her, saying how poor she was growing up, how she worked so hard, she had to take care of her father when she was in her early 20's then also had to take care of her younger brother when he got brain tumors.......That she and her partner filed for bankruptcy 7 yrs ago, and even broke with only 14 dollars, her partner still bought a bottle of wine....that while they were about to file, that her partner still demanded an engagement ring...She said as soon as she comes home, C would just play with the dogs and not even kiss her partner, it was just so bad and that how I came into her life, she was not expecting it, and just made her feel again,e tc....made me feel like, wow, this poor girl going through all of this, I can save her from this.... so we started seeing each other-

We first hooked up when C was at a business trip for the weekend in another city, she picked me up, we drove in her car and stayed at a hotel. She already had a Tiffany ring to give me that first weekend we were together at the hotel....she even took me to a charity event that her doctors do every year. I was told that she could never bring her partner to those because she looked too butch and she is not out at work.....so that made me feel good, there i was discussing politics, art, music, food with doctors and going to a nice restaurant that of course the N's work paid for.......(looking back, I now feel like crap because I realized that her partner was at the closing of their other house- they sold it and now C was going to live at the Lakehouse permanently since she was getting a higher position manager job with her company. So, her partner was taking care of all the legwork while C was out with a mistress.)

Again, I figured, from the stories, that her partner was just some drunk who was money hungry, making C work so hard so that she could buy nice things....that poor C, all her partner cared about was money and C was just so lonely. I was told the first thing that C fell in love with was how big my heart was (yes, that should have been the two biggest red flags- falling in love with me so fast and my heart= sucka!)

We kept seeing each other for about 3 months...C told me that she now lived in separate rooms, that they were practically roommates, she couldn't leave her partner right away because they had 8 yrs together and that was a lot to separate.......she was going to therapy with her partner to that she can be ok. (Who knows what REALLy happened but of course, I believed it all)....I figured if she was so honest with her partner and they were really just doing this to be ok before the split, I never understood why we still had to meet and be so secretive...why we only spent the nights at hotels when she had business trips, or she would come to my house and then go back late at night.

It took her partner getting so jealous one night, that she took out a gun and was about to come to my place....C called the cops and had her mom and brother were there. It was the next day that a protection order was placed, that her partner moved out under court orders, and I then became the OW to the gf. Lucky me! This should have been the red flags that should have made me run the other way! But oh no....I endured 2.5 yrs of mindfucks! I am now about 1 week of NC...I will have to write another post about the messed up 2.5 yrs, but that's another novel.

I just wanted to write about being the OT and proof of how they work on us- even the best of us who would never in a million years DREAM about being the mistress because we have too much integrity...even the best of us can be conned by these snakes. I now look back and believe she was probably playing both sides to get what she wanted and had her partner not gotten the gun, who knows what would have happened.