Is it DELIBERATE and consciously executed or just their nature???

Narcissists do what they do to get whatever it is they want and if it hurts someone in the process ( which it always will) they don't care. N'd do harm to satisfy thier own needs Psychopaths do what they do just for the thrill, for entertainment, for the enjoyment of watching it unfold, for sadistic reasons, to see pain and suffering, for narcissistic reasons ( as above), for boredom reasons, for challenge, for vengeful reasons. But yes, it doesn't matter the reason, its still lack of empathy and concern for the harm done whether its intended or not. Sick behavior = sick behavior

Instead of asking yourself this question....ask yourself...what is it about me that draws me to this type of person/relationship??? Start to focus more on yourself....thats the only way youre gonna heal....you focused on him enough...now its time for you!!!

They are psychopaths - no conscience, no remorse, shallow emotional responses, no empathy, pathological liars, promiscuous, deviants - the list is endless. The are wired incorrectly - nothing medication or millenia of therapy could improve/change. Thomas Sheridan, in Puzzling People: The Labyrinth of the Psychopath, refers to them as a sub-species of human (so subhuman!) and that their being awake is much like our state when watching TV - they aren't as conscious of the world as we are - it all seems different to them. The point being - Ns believe their world view is normal and everyone else has somehow got it wrong and other people are therefore inferior/stupid (my xN did). The xN believed he was controlling his environment before it manipulated/lied to/set its agenda against him - everything he was guilty of. So they know at some level that they aren't the same as others (my xNn wondered why he was terrible in social situations/why no one understood his sense of humour). He had little self-awareness but he did know what he did at times and really couldn't help bragging about it - called himself a bad man and enjoyed saying it, said he if he saw an opportunity he'd exploit it (free meal, holiday, sex, any woman he wanted etc, etc). For instance, they know adultery/more than one woman at a time is wrong but as they are superior, normal rules don't apply to them, and so they don't feel remorse and see no reason why they should stop doing it. Despite some knowledge that what they do is often unacceptable - their needs/requirements (supply) are paramount. They believe they are perfect and superior to everyone so they reason away any discrepancies as the fault of others and continue on their evil way.

Yes, it's deliberate and, yes, it's the nature of the beast. Narc's LOVE to feel powerful by catching you off-guard and messing with your mind. They live for that junk! They dream about abusing others. It's their goal in life, so that they can continue to delude themselves into thinking they are the Masters of The Universe and we are all peons here to cater to their needs and be abused by them. They believe they are the only people on the face of the planet that have a clue what's going on and everyone else is just plain stupid, so why shouldn't they mess with and abuse the underlings. It's their birthright, so they think! They are the embodiment of PURE EVIL and they will never get better unless a miracle occurs.

I deal with a female Narc at work... and she verges on psychopathy when it comes to her sadism. Right now my Narc grandmother might be committed to a mental institution, so it's a sore spot. It's been painful for my family. Since I knew the female Narc coworker was being calculating... I purposefully deflected her. After she had been rude to me&screamed at me, I reported her bad behavior. She is profoundly paranoid, she's afraid that people are talking about her. I reassured her that I didn't report her and that everything was OK. Since she LOVES seeing me upset&hysterical, and I do think she wants to drive me crazy, I spoke as coldly and calmly as possible. She was being cruel to me. She wants to convince me I'm somehow crazy-but I told her she's off the hook, she won't get in trouble (I have reported her bad behavior to the supervisor)

Does it matter?? They play the same broken record of hurt over and over..victim to next victim Conscious or unconscious ...who cares.. Yes PURE EVIL... That's all you need to know.. Hunter

I agree with both DS and Sparrow. And I think the answer to your question is both. When the mask begins to slip and they either are comfortable in your adoration or are simply bored, they need to up the ante on the drama quotient to get more supply. Even with drug addicts, it's never enough. I could relate stories of the immature drama and statements the N in my past would create, but I know now if a situation similar to it were ever to be repeated, I'd walk away and fast. I found the following article humbling yet healing on the topic: http://www.narcissismfree.com/swan-and-scorpion.php You're a good person EiPuff, we all are. None of us would have expected or deserved this type of treatment, but we know it exists now. And thankfully we are free from it and wiser. xoxo

That exchange of his about the sex with the other woman is so typical of a narc-conversation after the mask has come off. It is cute when someone gets mad because the toast gets burned...not cute when they stick you in the toaster and turn it on high. It is cute when I hurt you, I like to watch you squirm and suffer, and then I discount the whole thing and confuse it further by saying "why do you get so mad at me, you must have anger issues"...Evil describes it perfectly, doesn't it?! That exchange demonstrates so well that they actually do care how we feel...they want us to be unhappy and confused and addicted to their chaos and their drama. I think they just want us to be extensions of them, waiting hoping suffering and adoring. ds

Yes, unfortunately, it is, both conscious and deliberate. Maybe not down to the exact science of things, but yes it is. They are never confused about what they are doing or why they are doing it. The end results are the same for all of them, no matter what they initially seek out to do, they know, they only have a small window of time to "live the fantasy".