insight I left myself over a year ago

I found a "goodbye letter" yes another one that I wrote the exN last February. I was shocked! I did not have the "formal" word Narc in my vocabulary at that time but instinctively and intuitively I knew what he was. below are some things I had written. This letter has been a blessing to me. It reminded me just how crappy he treated me. It helps me yet again to see him for what & who he really is. I thought at that time it was the OW putting words and thoughts in his head now I see it was just his own crazy! lol. My only question for myself and maybe others is "How did I block this out & take him back?" I know it is not my fault but I did know better.

Well I just wanted to share. So here it is:

"I open my eyes and realize it was all a dream. The feeling of how you loved me was just an illusion. I open my eyes and see it was all lies. You lie about everything, to everyone even yourself."

"You were building a future with me, texting me, telling me you love me, you can't live without me, If it doesn't work with me there would never be another. Sleeping in my bed, making love to me. All the while telling your friends and god knows who else we were over! That you had been trying to end it for some time but she (me) would just not let go! Saying I do crazy things to keep you! But did they know you were not letting go? That you kept me close and kept pulling me back in?"

" You are a liar, a beautiful liar! Your truly and absolutely magnificent at it. You manipulate me every way you could!Telling me what I want to hear all the while killing me inside!"

"I see and know now that you never truly loved me. You are not capable of love. You used me, embarrassed me, humiliated me, and took everything I gave until I had nothing left to give!"

"you made me look crazy to the world with the lies you spin and stories you tell. Letting me post on your FB wall so I look like I can't let go! While you sat back ignored me, and destroyed me" " You are the work of the devil, I know there will be many after me. I know I meant nothing and these words will never be understood. You will find another sucker to fall for the puppy dog eyes, sweet voice, words full of lies and poor victim story"

well everyone I think I now have most of my new goodbye letter written with just a bit more to add.

So I thank you for reading and I thank myself for basically writing this letter to myself over a year ago. It was a wake up call. Stay NC and never go back. Third time was the charm!