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I'm tired of thinking about this SOB ! I want my life back

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#1 May 2 - 3PM
findingmeagain
findingmeagain's picture

I'm tired of thinking about this SOB ! I want my life back

Well everyone its been almost a week and NC its been hard but I think of him often. I go over the relationship over and over and I still wonder sometimes was I the reason he D&D me. I remember one point of the relationship he wasn't talking to me that much and I didn't care it was like whatever. I use to ignore him and wasn't paying attention to him as much. I keep telling myself why would you want to pay attention to a moron like that. We would actually fuss over things like bills .One time he yelled at me because I asked him to pay 3 dollar pack of paper plates! Yup I said it right plates. I WANT MY LIFE BACK I DON'T WANT TO KEEP GOING LIKE THIS THINING OF HIM!

May 2 - 4PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Findingmeagain

Being Narced has no quick fix. Sorry, One week NC, you have a long road ahead of you. To get him out of your head you need complete, I repeat Complete NC. Time will heal but not over night, Keep reading. Hunter
May 2 - 4PM
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture

It sounds like he is still

It sounds like he is still taking energy from you! Don't let him! Decide to keep it for you! What can you do to make you feel better!? It sounds like a cheesy self help line, but what can you do for you, activities or hobbies or even pampering! I went back to my martial arts! Since he D&d'd me (the very last time I might mention) I have not missed one Kung Fu or tai chi class! Its helped me channel my frustrations and monkey thoughts about him! He took energy and life from your very soul! He is still taking it by the connection he has with you! They are vampires who still suck life blood even long after they are gone! If u let them!!! It's tough to stop the mind from going over and over the finer details? We are human and because we are not narcs, we want to understand it and make sense of it! We even try to find out if we ourselves played a part in the destruction! This is silly and dangerous thinking! I did that for a long time and I took on his crap! They design u's that way! They project and we empaths just mop it up 4 them and we dont even realise! Try to do something good for you! Reclaim your life and your hopes and your dreams! Don't give a single more moment of your time and energy! When ever it pops up say an affirmation! "this was not my fault, nothing I could have done could change him, we are better off apart, I am happy in my own skin living a fulfilling life without him and his cruelty" Big lov! ((hugs)) I'm sorry you feel like this right now!! Good luck! Excuse my spelling! Am on mobile! X
May 2 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
findingmeagain
findingmeagain's picture

thanks yeah I feel that way

thanks yeah I feel that way too. I also keep thinking of all the fun he is having with the OW she is me 10 years ago smh. I wish I never met his a$$! I try to act like I don't know him put him out my mind but those thoughts come creeping back after awhile ...
May 2 - 4PM (Reply to #3)
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture

Yes she is! And she will most

Yes she is! And she will most likley be you ten years down the line! These guys disappoint there partners! The loyal, attentive, polite, listening, man that he starts off as soon degrades into the narcs we a come to love and hate! And even if they are having romantic chemical high thing right now??? That stuff is not a "real relationship" Narc men don't play for keeps, they play for themselves, to attain a shirt sharp buzz! When it gone they switch off! They might even get past that point but at some point babies or responsibilities of some kind come along and then the "passion" they crave to feel fulfilled and satiated is left dangling! And they start to feel the need 4 new supply! Ever wonder why lot of narcs are yucky old men with youung girls! God knows how they acquire young blood? Yes it's hard not "picture them" but your picture is never gona be the reality! Maybe there having magical love fest right now! The way I frame it is this!!! I had that passion and thrusty lusty magic with him, but I also remember how it got smaller and smaller until it became a frightened child cowering in the corner! It was never real! Falling in love, the honey moon period, the initial buzz is all "chemical"!!!! It's defo nice and fun, but remember that you want a relationship that gets beyond that into the realms of secure stable long term non waivering love! You deserve that! "real" people exsist who are capable of that, trust me, and when you get that, you will look back and feel sorry for the narcs who are limited by chemical romances! Xx big lov